The nerves of the unknown
Terrifies me,
Controls me.

My heads a million miles away,
Over thinking the billion impossible ways
It can go.

The future's out of my reach,
But my brain refuses to understand that.

I tell myself don't,  
But all I convey is please;

Please:
- let me say the right things at the right time;
- don't let me do weird noises while others are directly speaking to my face;
- listen to everything and don't ask repeated questions;
- control your inner shyness and don't let your awkwardness take over;
- go to sleep after you write this cause all you don't need is enormous eye bags to complete your zombie face.

I want and I need to learn how not to be always in control and be okay with it.
I've to learn how to be kinder to myself.

Thank you for reading another nervous breakout.

Always yours,
Irsorai

You used to make me nervous
And I liked that.

Now you make me nervous
And I want to die.

Heals tapping on the
Hard
Wooden floor creaking
Under the weight
Of time and weather like
The wind and steam
Of the machine in
The caffeine dream
Of the woman inside
The cup
Slowly burning my lips
At every breath taking sip
The words slip away

Butterflies are in my eyes.

They dance around my head

in hovering halos &

make it hard to disguise

my nerves, while words spill out;

tripping over one another

in my seldom uttered stutters.

I used to cry  haha
I used to laugh  haha
I used to be angry  haha
I used to be nervous  haha
I used to be inlove  haha
Now, That's a poem.  **Haha

Shaky hands, cold lips,
Jumbled words, politics,
Burning cheeks, wikileaks,
Silent stares, distant week.

Twisted stomach, achy sighs,
Neither are more the wise,
Silent thoughts, weak spots,
Each word twisted in a knot.

tap, tap, tap
my toe hits the linoleum
I'm caught up in bouncing knees
and quivering hands
involuntary vibration
punctuated by staccatos
slicing through the silence
"It's coming," it says
I mutter, "how soon?"