Palms sweaty,
Knees weak,
Pulse beating-
Faster and faster.

All I can think of
Is you and I don't
Know what to do-
I hate being in love.

I’m nervous to be with you,
Little fireworks dancing in my stomach.

I’m nervous to speak to you,
Afraid that I’ll end up speaking in a different language.

I’m nervous to hear you,
Something so foreign yet so familiar in my dreams.

I’m nervous to smell you,
Will you smell more like the cappucino you swirl in your cup each morning
Or more like the panettone you help your mamma make on Sunday’s?

I’m nervous to look at your eyes,
To see those beautiful chocolate brown occhi stupendi stare right back into mine,
Little do you know I’m swimming them.

I’m nervous to see those perfect lips,
Lips that I would drink in like the red wine I swallowed like a pill,
To try to forget about you.

I’m nervous to see your face,
A face that I would recognize with my hands if I were ever blindfolded.

I’m nervous to touch you,
Even the slightest brush of hands would make my body tingle.

I'm nervous for you,
what will you think of me?

It finally happened but I'm still walking like it's just a dream.

Like it didn't actually happen.

You were perfect as always.

Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect demeanor.

When I saw you walk past me, I said not again.

Not again would I let you slip away from me, because I
was done being a ballerina.

So as gracefully as you entered, I caught you at the exit.

You acted as if someone gave you a double fudge chocolate
cake for your birthday when I told you who I was.

Baby it made my heart melt and right then and there I wanted to
give you all of me.

But the best thing was, I felt like I was being set free.
No nausea or anxiety.
In that moment it was just you and me.

And that connection that I had felt like I had imagined became
as clear as day.

Maybe it's all in my head, but I have never seen you waiver...
this chiseled knight had a ***** in his armor.

Because you seemed nervous, and what makes me even more queasy is
that perhaps you were nervous because of me.

Darling, whatever it was, it pleased me even more to see you
act as sweet as honey.

And im questioning everything once more, because perhaps you really are
the one for me.

​Your voice was all I heard
The way you said every word
So genuine, honest and true
Captivating, but scary too..
Because I lose myself, my control
When your voice tickles my soul.
Things around get a bit blurry
Pupils dilate, speech gets slurry!
All the anxiety, this rush that I feel
Your voice'll cast a spell and heal.

oh, how tongue tied you make me.
just the thought of your pretty fingers
encompassing my own
or your gentle hands
wrapping around my waist
is enough
to awaken the butterflies
from their place of rest
up to my lips,
only wanting to feel
the warmth of yours.

Well, I've come up with my diagnosis,
And I believe that you are infected.
Yes, indeed, it's a parasite, in fact,
But don't you worry. It can be dealt with.
Unfortunately, it cannot be cured.

Do you perhaps remember feeling
That you could do anything as a child?
Do you remember internalizing
The confidence and power that youth brought?
Do recall those sensations?

I can predict the rest. Someone stopped you,
Told you to think realistically.
Put you down, causing you to doubt yourself.
Doubt. That is what you are infected with.
And as of then, it has been part of you.

it squeezes
the meaty flesh
between my lungs.

that *****
that tissue
those cells
electric with these
waves of nervousness
wrapping their tendrils
and gripping, too tightly.

is it nervousness?
when i am nervous,
i know what to do with it.
i know how to use it.
this is not nervousness.

anxiety took root in my heart
years ago
and it still clutches
at the space where i
imagine my soul to be.