what a shame it is
i dont know a ******* thing
about you mama

It's soft white alabaster but
a little dingy from overuse
hinting it's age with a bit of staining
around its curved spout
condensation dribbles from the lid down its azure twisting floral patterns
hissing it's boil with a pitched
Screeeeeeeeeeeee

I got the closure I've been asking for
I cried a while
I'm in the middle of transitioning and I really didn't even have a comfortable spot to cry it
So I sat in the bathtub- cup of tea in hand
and I cried
And then I got up and I went and conversed with my parents and I smiled and I laughed and I loved them
and you can stop me from loving you but you can't stop me from anything else
So moving forward is the easy part
its looking back that gets hard

It won't just be ******* anymore.

It'll be our hearts intertwining and our souls creating a sensual dance.
It won't just be hand holding, it would be a creation of viral sparks flowing with each touch, creating some sort of crave to continuously hold you, the desire to to feel you.

It won't just be me listening to you talk but more of me admiring and thanking God for that sensual voice, it would be more like listening to Beethoven, no better yet to the great classical music that exists creating some sense of warmth and security from your voice.

It will no longer be a smile, It would be the universe stopping, nothing moving allowing me to take in that incredible smile, it will be my heart beating ferociously because you are mine and that smile is only meant for me.

It will always be much more.

chugging
twanging
thumping
snarling -

no drugs needed; the tempo sends me into a tailspin of bliss.

a frightened ear would perceive a dirge but
to the acquainted
it can only be a hymn.

Too many roads I have to cross
And too much pain I have to bear
Too many seas I have to sail
Now there’s one mask I have to wear.

Sing me a song that lifts me up
Paint a picture that speaks up, too
Tell me the word that’s not too sharp
I only want the  best from you.

Give me a flow’r with gentle scent
Save the petals to gain my strength…

Sometimes I just feel
like everyone else is
ordering me around,
and not respecting my space at all.
Whenever I tell them to go,
they just seem to show.
I didn't invite you
into my bubble,
so why do you have to burst it
into rubble?