A man drops on the field
Falls like a rock to the dirt
Raises a shout from the enemy and a shout from his friends
Deadweight to the company
They will haul him back to camp
Bury him like a goat by the main road
The funeral will be quiet
Men gathered around a mound
They will smoke cigarettes and forget which way up they put his head
The man in the passing truck will tell the news they are praying to an anthill
Dear readers will scoff and throw their hands up and proclaim
We knew it all along! Lunatics the whole lot a’them!
The boys around the man-mound-anthill will not cry in public
Violence has toughened them into men
Violence has killed their friend
They will cry later
After dinner when the sun sets over the field and they think they won’t be seen
Is it man’s nature to turn boys into mounds
To hide tears from friends
To smoke cigarettes by the dead
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
The boy under the anthill
Under the raging sun
Under the cruel eye of god
Man’s nature to wonder
Ashes to ashes
Dust to deadweight

A small room
                       Austere
A sepia image
Retains a slender figure
                     In Silver frame

It rests
Upon a circular table
Where within fallen petals
A single barbed rose
Lays beside a Gillows chair
                   There is no vase

A newspaper
               Outdated
Placed with intent
On a chaise longue
Awaits a reply from
         An underlined entry
         That’s buried
         Within the lost and found

When I die
No one will mourn
There will be a funeral
Many will attend
mourning someone
That died when I was 10
The gravestone will be mistaken
About who I am
The people will weep
And mourn for long
But not for me
For they have it wrong
They will mourn the girl in the casket
A shell of who I once was
No one will mourn me
That is no lie
When I die they will mourn the shell
of a girl i once was
But the little boy inside
who’s always wanted to come out
No one will mourn him
Ace will be forgotten
He will be erased.

Splinters from a dead tree, afloat at sea,
burrow into my neck,
jolting me awake at sunset,
reminding me that the thorns serve
to keep us looking to the horizon
for a softer place to lay.

Maybe life can drift. Maybe it can float by,
like wood that forgot it was part of a forest.
I too was torn from the forest,
adrift without the ones
who once held me steady.

But then,
in the blur of a mirage,
I’d land on pain’s shore.
And I’m sure
that life, out on that log,
was gentler than this:
fire ants, rocky beaches,
the carcass of a beached whale,
and creatures that never found their way
back to the sea.

Isn’t It Nice to Have a Mother?
I write this poem to share a thought—

A reminder, perhaps, to offer extra kindness today.
Because not all mothers gave hugs,

Or left kisses along the way.

I had a mother who was my first bully—

The first to teach me to chase a love.

That was never mine to hold.

She taught me that love had to be earned,

That I needed to prove I was worthy of it.


The cost?

Low self-esteem, people-pleasing,

And a hunger for validation
In exchange for love she rarely chose to give.

She resented in me the traits she had been taught to hate in herself—


And now I see them,

 Reflected in my own insecurities,

In the body I’ve grown into,

In the weight I carry,
both seen and unseen.

Not all mothers are kind.

Not all are gentle.
Some are neglectful.

Some are cruel, 
In more ways than one.

So if I seem quiet today—
If I hold back on a day meant for celebration—

Please understand:
 It reminds me of the mother I did not have.

And of the mother I hope one day to become.

A white flower
Has bloomed on my porch
Small glistening raindrops
Fall below it
Seeping into the grass and its concrete
The morning sun shines
Over the horizon
Wishing better days
To those below
I think of you
As the mist blinds my eyes
As the crow cries at the mourning
Today the sun shines
Between the dense pillows
And masks the glint between my pupils

How thou art fallen, in darkness torn
That hath bound thee in endless mourn
Feelest how the moon drowns in sea
A song of vengeance, tenderly
Thou art in silence wearing souls
A sullen night where lone bells toll
Thy sorrow draped in veils so dark
Yet speaks wisdom as its art
Seek, o seek the path in dream,
As a dawn comes to redeem.