I think I fell in love
With all this sky up above

As I sit here in Texas, Cedar Creek
It’s so hot, not even a leak

But all the people oh so friendly
The smiles they give are always free

Some likes the cowboys and some are longhorns
Texas is much different than the state of corn

They have Goodwill’s much bigger than you dream
With rows and rows of clothes, WITH  ATTATCHED SEAMS!

They have a Cowboy Church that welcome you in
Don’t fret or judge when you can’t make it back again

When they say everything is better in Texas
You should see what we eat for breakfast

I cannot wait to start a life here
Texas is now my home, with a Shelby always near.

we grab too tightly
at that which is not ours.

and wish so hard for hearts
with heads lost in the stars.

reach out for some attention
from minds racing fast as cars.

seek love and affection
from hearts trapped behind bars.

forgetting to look in the mirror
and first mend our own scars.

Some moments
I get these terrible,
terrible thoughts.
Ones that derail my whole mindset
and set me back tenfolds.
I wander aimlessly,
looking for answers
to empty questions and doubts,
only to lose myself
in the chaos that resides
in my own body.
-It's 4am and I can't sleep.

I mourn for the past
I mourn for the me I once knew
Someone carefree
Someone healthy
Going and going without thinking twice
Jumping and leaping without a care
What I would give to dance again
To walk on the beach without being in pain
To climb to new heights without fear of a fall
I miss my old spirit
I miss being a normal teen
I miss achieving the highest and being the best
College
Relationships
Careers
It’s all different now
I had a plan
I miss my plan
I want a plan
But I can only play life by ear
If only
I could jump back into my old body
Crawl back into my old brain
Feel young again
Feel the weight lifted off of my shoulders
Rip the labels off of me and toss them aside
I miss Sophie, the honor roll student
I miss Sophie, the actress
I miss Sophie, the future teacher
I can no longer escape the boundaries
Of Sophie, the sick kid

I haven’t listened to myself breathe in a while.
I haven’t felt myself genuinely crack a smile.
I haven’t been in tune with food for my soul.
I haven’t seen my self in the mirror, truth be told.

I stare at the reflection but I can’t see my breath.
And I can see this smile but it’s looking forced and stretched.

I feed from adrenaline, but I’m just short of a crash,
I’m looking at the mirror but don’t see myself looking back

Through the Looking Glass
James Bond played his “Double” role  

On his “investigations” to locate the  “treasonous” Villian.

His “distractions” are well known…

Past his “secret” identity and “cover”

His “secret” is very well known

Past that

Spying is quite irritating

On both sides living double lives

Human reasoning defines what the “crime” or “need” of their own “roles”

are of the necessary order

As each person calculates based on its own relations

Memories and Conclusions played through life’s “feed recorder.”