He had his tongue in my mouth
I was new to this and went along with it
He layed me down
I thought about my classmate in the front seat
He moved his hands up too high
I didn’t want to cause any drama
He put his hands under my shirt
I silently tried to push them away
He was stronger than me
I kept pushing his hands away
He felt me up anyways
I faked like I didn’t mind, while I smiled, tried to gently push him away,
He stopped and said “please”
I was silent
At one point he also tried to put his hand down my jeans
I pushed back harder than I’d done the first time.
The classmate in the front took a video
I looked like I was enjoying myself
My friends saw it
I felt sick
People got mad at me for denying that I enjoyed it
I wanted to cry
My best friend didn’t believe me when I told him I was violated
I remembered when he said he’d protect me
Why didn’t you say no?
I was in shock
Why didn’t you get out of the car?
He was on top of me
He said “please” why didn’t you say No?
I was scared of making him mad.
Why didn’t you tell anyone?
I didn’t want them to know
Why didn’t you press charges?
I just wanted the whole thing to go away
Why did you pretend you were enjoying it if you weren’t?
I was scared, in shock, I wasn’t thinking clearly, maybe I thought it was safer than him doing it by force.
I don’t need to answer your questions
I was violated
I don’t care if you agree or not
Stop making me relive it
He bought me a ring today, I collect them you see.
I think it was like a promise, a token he wants to be with me.
Then he got me a knecklace a ruby red stone
Matches my dress for prom, no one will be left unshown.
Then he bought the ring.
The ring you see? It was a large diamond surrounded by little ones. You should have seen my face filled with coyness
But how did you feel you ask?
I’m so excited to share this with you all! So today my bf bought me a necklace and this gorgeous ring with a beautiful pearl in it. Never been so happy, but the week before we were just browsing engagement rings and I had found one I like. Well today he bought it as well. I was overcome with pure honest happiness through my veins. I love him very much and I can finally say things are looking up.
If you understand, I’m sorry. Stay strong friend.
Loving you unconditionally
That’s where I like to be
I’ve had the ride of my life with you
You made sure I always pulled through
You made the hard times better
And if I was cold, you’d cover me with your sweater
You made the bad seem good
Said it’s like a man always should
You made me laugh when I was down
Even when I felt fat trying on a beautiful gown
You make my heart soar
As if we could dance forever on life’s floor
Collin, you’ve made me the girl I’ve always wanted to be
Collin dear, you’ve went and made me feel pretty
I love you.
If you understand I’m sorry friend. Stay strong.
Happy six months to the man of my dreams. He will never see this but it’s here. And I want everyone to know I love him. He let me live. He helped me live
there’s a girl
with pretty brown eyes
and the biggest smile that flashes
as she walks past you in the halls
she never seems to carry a frown
or be anything but happy
she carries an aura that makes you think of the color yellow
and people notice in her walk
and in her talk
that she is never troubled
this brown-eyed girl
comes home every sundown
with tear stained cheeks as her head hits the pillow
and is left with a sleepless night full of thoughts and dreams
she rehearsed that if anyone asked
she would respond with
“I’m used to it.”
may 8, 2018 (10:02 PM)
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.
Now read from bottom to top.
My woman is the essence of being, she gathers the ruin of the day to offer moonbeams. Her touch, geared to moods of the moment, oscillates between slap and caress.... is always, though, kind, considerate, caring and layered betwixt lavender levels of love.
Mother of my boys, protector of the clan, matriarch and Monarch. My Janet, the very love of my life.