“i’m done with furries”


i.
i can’t dream your dreams,
but you’ve told me about them.

you wear an owl mask
shaped by fists and transgression;
a laceration splits your side
from a skin split
to your rib splits.

your love,
Bill Clinton or Donkey Kong
(whoever populates your thoughts),
crack your bare skin
until makeup
leaks out of your pores.

you dream of emulating art;
O hanging from a ceiling claw,
clicking heels against drywall
until leg muscles give up
and her diaphragm accordions close.

but who is your sculptor?
who is your artist?

ii.
alas, i am only
a paper mache bird.

i flinch when it rains,
i flinch when i move;
my paper skin
could cave in
from lip crack to *** crack.

(i hate
Inside Out.
but, i’ve only watched it once,
and i’ve been told
my eyes would adjust
on the second viewing.)

i dream of emulating art;
Marat in an ice bath,
tragedy and love and death
captured
without conflict.

but who is my muse?
who won’t break my bones?


iii.
you don’t know my dreams either,
but we could dream together.

two reveries in polyphony
of an owl and bird *******,
making love
before they
make art.

our love
is ******* weird;
a childhood seesaw
we’re trying to
find the perfect balance
to with our weight.

we dream different things;
**** fantasies and intimate kissing,
but that doesn’t matter.
at this point in two years,
we can see through each other.

i can’t make art without you.

you aren’t done with furries.

slow and sweaty
sleepless summer nights
trapped in my room and
tortured by thoughts of you.

from the wrong side of the sea
i hear your soft moans
and i see your golden body
poised and yearning.

it doesn’t matter if you evade my arms
when the screen can imprison you
and my dreams can immortalize you.

You tried to burn me down
I tried to burn you down

Instead of charcoal
We became a crackle

We tried to burn it down
but we lit each other up

Our hearts became kindling
Melded together, fed the fire

Our breaths tried to blow it out
Swirling together, stoking the embers

We tried to be just a flame
We became a bonfire.

It’s difficult to go from being dependent on someone to being independent. It wasn’t gradual, it was sudden. Like the way you are engulfed by fire, all of a sudden you are consumed. There’s nothing gradual, there’s no warning, it just happens and you’re left with nothing except fire and fury.

He’s gone now
Not gone forever but gone for awhile
He’ll be busy
And won’t have the time for me
But I still
Sit by the phone and wait

Hopefully it rings...

So I may have to give you up.
I will give you up
Unless you tell me how you want to be with me.

If lovers need not be together to love each other then Together transformed into truth and luck
And I would give you up
Perhaps say, do not ever take him away.

My love, I want to say (Can I say) don't roam so far away from me
A moment without you is a year to drag aching shoulders with long fingernails
A sleepy guest unwelcomed after midnight, that is your goodbye.

Because, you are part of the forgotten voyages made of strawberry seas and orange trees
But I have to give you up like how trees give freely our breathing.

What was given, returns and arrives in your speak drifting, steps gliding, search farwinding, slow stroll, such is your gaze.
The way you have lingered is mine, how you looked at me is also mine.
Tears you gave me are diamonds that fell lost deep under the earth nobody else knows where to find.

Time for you to seek a love like mine, the seeking of an adventure.
An old fashioned romance historian love
Rivalling of an old century over the millenium.
Only you (in this moment) know my contribution to this world that which is only you.

I thought of you and my ear started to ring.
Is that my body casting you out?
Discrete madness
Desire building up
With nowhere else to go
but in a surge out of my head?

Maybe it’s an echo of my ringing phone
Good-morning calls
Bored-driving calls
Lonely-night calls
Random-2pm-thinking-of-you calls
i-just-want-to-hear-you-talk calls
A disembodied voice carried through wire
Whispers separated by highways
Longing to be breathed into the other’s neck
A love changing by the moon.

Does it mean you are thinking of me?
I heard that from somewhere.
Or is it talking about me?
Maybe it’s both
I know you moan my name
A smoke raised with the fume of sighs
Is yours ringing too?


This is a death-mark’d love at first touch
The fates cackling at our persistence
Our hands reaching pathetically
Out of grasp.

We are so afraid to be alone
So ******* stubborn
That we lack foresight
Sensing the inevitable
But denying, ignoring,
Sitting still as the earth shakes
Apathetic to the world devouring us alive
Attempting to defy the stars.

These violent delights have violent ends.

they always say
you fall in love
fall
like a quick painful accident
or a long free for all plummeting down with no end in sight

thats not how I'd say it
not how I think our love was made to be
we were made to rise up
not fall down

we're not falling, we're flying
we're soaring
our love is the eagles feathers flying on the sunrise
the gust of wind not from the weather
but our own beating heart wings
The hot and powerful gusts of air with each pulse

I don’t feel lost to a downward spiral
I feel compelled to reach forward
eyes wide open, glimmering with the smirk of love
love swallowed us whole
longing to ingest us

but instead we became love
we digested it
we are it
we are the love that is in every fiber
and atom
and minuscule fragment of being between us

you may be there and I may be here
but where I am you are
and you're not there, I’m here
so together in the flesh simply means
to be you and me

I think of you before I sleep

but then instead of counting sheep

I dream of us being together

And suddenly everything's better

I want to take you on a ride

And at the end make you my bride

How I wish that you could see

What you trully mean to me

This love of mine is strange and bizarre

My heart loving another from so far