So I may have to give you up.
I will give you up
Unless you tell me how you want to be with me.

If lovers need not be together to love each other then Together transformed into truth and luck
And I would give you up
Perhaps say, do not ever take him away.

My love, I want to say (Can I say) don't roam so far away from me
A moment without you is a year to drag aching shoulders with long fingernails
A sleepy guest unwelcomed after midnight, that is your goodbye.

Because, you are part of the forgotten voyages made of strawberry seas and orange trees
But I have to give you up like how trees give freely our breathing.

What was given, returns and arrives in your speak drifting, steps gliding, search farwinding, slow stroll, such is your gaze.
The way you have lingered is mine, how you looked at me is also mine.
Tears you gave me are diamonds that fell lost deep under the earth nobody else knows where to find.

Time for you to seek a love like mine, the seeking of an adventure.
An old fashioned romance historian love
Rivalling of an old century over the millenium.
Only you (in this moment) know my contribution to this world that which is only you.

I thought of you and my ear started to ring.
Is that my body casting you out?
Discrete madness
Desire building up
With nowhere else to go
but in a surge out of my head?

Maybe it’s an echo of my ringing phone
Good-morning calls
Bored-driving calls
Lonely-night calls
Random-2pm-thinking-of-you calls
i-just-want-to-hear-you-talk calls
A disembodied voice carried through wire
Whispers separated by highways
Longing to be breathed into the other’s neck
A love changing by the moon.

Does it mean you are thinking of me?
I heard that from somewhere.
Or is it talking about me?
Maybe it’s both
I know you moan my name
A smoke raised with the fume of sighs
Is yours ringing too?


This is a death-mark’d love at first touch
The fates cackling at our persistence
Our hands reaching pathetically
Out of grasp.

We are so afraid to be alone
So ******* stubborn
That we lack foresight
Sensing the inevitable
But denying, ignoring,
Sitting still as the earth shakes
Apathetic to the world devouring us alive
Attempting to defy the stars.

These violent delights have violent ends.

they always say
you fall in love
fall
like a quick painful accident
or a long free for all plummeting down with no end in sight

thats not how I'd say it
not how I think our love was made to be
we were made to rise up
not fall down

we're not falling, we're flying
we're soaring
our love is the eagles feathers flying on the sunrise
the gust of wind not from the weather
but our own beating heart wings
The hot and powerful gusts of air with each pulse

I don’t feel lost to a downward spiral
I feel compelled to reach forward
eyes wide open, glimmering with the smirk of love
love swallowed us whole
longing to ingest us

but instead we became love
we digested it
we are it
we are the love that is in every fiber
and atom
and minuscule fragment of being between us

you may be there and I may be here
but where I am you are
and you're not there, I’m here
so together in the flesh simply means
to be you and me

I think of you before I sleep

but then instead of counting sheep

I dream of us being together

And suddenly everything's better

I want to take you on a ride

And at the end make you my bride

How I wish that you could see

What you trully mean to me

This love of mine is strange and bizarre

My heart loving another from so far

My dearest Jocelyn,

The very thoughts of you make me Homesick.
It's just as beautiful as miserable it sounds.

April 15, 2018. 11.11am - "Make a wish!"

"Did you make one?"

         I did, I wished for the impossible with all the might of my heart.

"Yep, I did."

         If only you knew, I wish for this with every beat of my heart on
         the daily.

"What is it?"

         I wished for everyday to be like this, I wished to wake up next to
         you, I wished to stay with you.

"I can't tell you, then it won't come true."

         We were meant to say goodbye from the beginning,
         The universe brought you to me, only to leave me attached
         and longing, knowing you'll have to be ripped out my life.
        
I ask myself sometimes, why did I let this happen?

Then I look at our hands, our present, intertwined, even if momentarily, I understand.

To be able to love, to be able to miss, to feel this kind of pain, to go through scrolls of memories with you, to understand depths of myself that were once shallows.

Our paths were always carved into two,

I can only wish,

our paths can come become one again.

Through all the kisses and tears, I'll be yours.

Always.

You lay in your bed, weeping silently
Internally writhing in emotional agony
You get a new message, it's from me
Because I will never leave you be.

You awaken, your eyelids wanting to droop
The days can seem bland and repetitive, it's true
But I can break you free of this accursed loop
Because I'm here for you.

I stare at the door in ill-concealed anticipation
My family is perplexed as to why I'm so happy
You knock, and I fling the door open in elation
Because you're finally here with me.

it rains every time I'm in your city
you say that it's a bad omen but
I think it's just because
the universe is trying her hardest
to grow flowers out of stones

six foot five
with an award winning smile.
a voice that could melt hearts,
that surely melts mine.

and here i am,
almost three in the morning.
and i know he came around
for some reason.

a good reason.

my life had fallen dark
after losing my last love.
but i guess my new man,
he's a gift from above.

he's changing my life,
and yes, for the better.
being with him will be
the end of my inner strife.

while he does live far,
my life will be going through changes.
over nine hundred miles away,
at, least that's by car.

but listen here my love,
my heart is wherever you are.