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Manda Mar 29
You love her too much
I envy the power of it
She doesn’t know you
You don’t know me either
But I know you
And you feel like you do know her
Until yours become the only way
To end this agony
I want to love you too
Help me to end my own agony
But its too much
Too deep and hurt
But when will we meet each other
When we’re too busy
Catching the heart that doesn’t want to be reached
  Jun 2018 Manda
JL Smith
A fire burns within
Each flame igniting desires
For a passion I must pursue
Broiling my blood, searing every fiber

I once questioned why it chose me
Tried to fend it off for good,
But birth dealt me as a dreamer
Persistent imagination into adulthood

These words consist of power
Its control bestowed upon the unique
The responsibility of my talent
To share what others sincerely seek

Commitment and dedication
Discipline and sleepless nights
Believing in something bigger
Triumphant against all plights

As strength endures heartache
And my will to succeed prevails
My words shield me from naysayers
Because not everyone understand what my path entails

© JL Smith
Manda Jun 2018
This heart should be, already,
Or one side love-proof
'*** I've learned it that way

That back you thrown at me
Walked off to the departing gate
Should have known it would be the end of this
It supposed to be die right there

But the feeling seemed lurking
They ghosted on the small side of my chest
Waited patiently there
'Till the shine of your light blasted through the flesh

I wonder what to call this feel
Should it be love or passion
Or an amusement, instead of possesion
To recall your embrace 'till my tears are all reckless

Supposed to hate you
Supposed to summoned you away
But these beats after beats,
They told me I'm dying without you

Boy, I'm dying without you
Do not ruffle my hair anymore
Do not smile at my joke anymore
Just do not, do not you dare at all

This time, do not you dare to love me anymore.
  Apr 2018 Manda
I became relevant
Everyone is watching me now
But This wasn't the attention i wanted
Seems like everyone was getting their blessing
But i continued to stay haunted
Maybe this was my spotlight
For them to see my life declining
This was the peak in my journey
I called it perfect timing
In the midst of avoiding depression
And escaping my anxiety
That whole entire time i had something growing inside of me.
"Extra extra! I have cancer read all about it"
A poem i wrote a while back about me finding out i had cancer.
Manda Apr 2018
Once I was in a place to shed a tears
of the silent scream I don't let anybody know
to watch them all laughing,
as the agony I feel
for the invisible tears
rolled down my cheek

they laughed at me,
for always
at the sight of myself
and that's the truth
for what the lie is
I smiled at them in return
  Apr 2018 Manda
you said that
you love it when it rains.
little did you know that
it rains
whenever i shed a tear.
maybe that's why
you seem happy
even if i'm hurt;
you enjoy
whenever i cry.
and i'll always end up
exchanging your sorrow
for my euphoria,
in hopes of you
loving the rain—
me, my tears, and my pain.
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