Mother,
Please tell me I did what’s right
I saved them a stupid fight

Oh my sweet mother
Tonight I want to be alone and cry
When I needed someone, nobody even tried

It’s too tragic to be true
I had the chance to be the person
Who stabbed me, shot me with her canon

I broke the cycle, mother
I told her I won’t be the one
Who steals her boy just for fun

I did what I needed someone to do for me
Not break me
But to set me free

I want to almost complain
Why was I left alone?
Locked out of my own home?

But then I hear God speak to me
Love me the way I wasn’t loved before
Taught me, less is always more
My God, softening my inner core
Guiding me through mountain and the shore
Hearing me when I’m silent and when I roar
My God, my God

People get tired of me quickly
They never stay around for long

Its like I'm artificial
I'm not actually myself
I'm not living my truth
I'm trapped in a mind that babbles
I only respond
I never create
I've trapped myself  

I'm living in a world that is a product of false pretenses
This world is a facade
A mere illusion
A distraction from the inevitable truth
That I am flawed
That I am broken
And I truly cannot be fixed

The senseless ticking of the clock of life
Rings in my ears
I used to feel alive
Now the clock serves as a reminder
that I am being forced to live out my days on a world that is filled with empty promises

I was always told that I'm never guaranteed tomorrow
I was always told to live life to the fullest
But how can I live life to the fullest
When I'm barley living at all

There are things
I want to say
My voice betrays

I’d rather
Lie forever
Than hear
My voice quiver

I’d rather
Hide inside
Than break
My own heart

So you will never know
The things I want to say

And I will be safe...

And alone.

Do you know how much it took out of me to give you
pieces of me that
I,
Till this day,
cannot accept?

-You may have a way with words, but you also have a way of freeing me from my own demons.

and that's why..

I really don't want to let you go.

Sara I. Raad

I've always had a way with words
my tongue lets lies slide off
like ice cream drips onto the floor
causing distress
I notice it more
when I talk to my mother
her ignorance astounds me
like magic to a child
not understanding

Do you know me?
I grew up without a mother
She left when my oldest sister was three
Even when my sister was close to dying
She spent money on drugs instead of for flying

I hated my dad for keeping us away from her when I was little
When I was 16 I realized she was brittle
When it was my sister's graduation day
They talked for one minute because she had nothing to say

She told my dad that she was going to move out here
A year later and she's not even here
She gave my hopes up
So much that it felt like a breakup

She asked my dad when I was born
That pierced my heart with thousands of thorns
Does she even deserve the title mother
When she lies one after another

I hate that you cheated
I hate that you lied
You better stop stalking on me
Before I tear you
Like you tear me