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Luis Valencia Jan 12
Hello everyone
This is my goodbye

Tears I never knew I could shed so many tears
They cloud my vision and make everything hazey

My head
It pounds and pounds
Thoughts of emptiness
Broken relationships
And taped mouths
Silent I’ve been silent for so long

I feel like my body is humming
But it’s song is shrill and out of tune
Nothing makes sense
It’s chaos it’s just noise
Noise that no one will miss

Hello this is my goodbye
As I sink into the darkness of my mind
Captivated by the thought of ending it all
Taking steps forward but not moving an inch

Working so hard for little reward
Seeing gray clouds when you prayed for sun
Watching as each person you know crumbles in front of you

I’m asking for a reason to stay
I’m asking for a chance to breathe
But all I have is nothing

Hello, this is my goodbye, not my final one.
Not yet.
I’m not stable
I’m not sure of what I need
I don’t know whether it’s sleep
Or a way to smile
Or a sleeping pill
But these late nights have me feeling like I’m a cloud
High in the sky
Spreading throughout the atmosphere
I feel like I’m stretched out so thinly
That if I were to move any more
I would rip
When I say that I’m tired
Just know I’m not tired of you
I’m tired of battling with myself
Sleep is nonexistent rn
a mist calls my name
and shows me myself in a mirror
I am standing tall
loving life and-
making love-
to the only person who matters

the mist pulls me back-
and shoves itś talons in my back
Then it whispers of the
insecurities I hold
inside empty spaces
empty steps
empty tears

pain is pain
death is death
hope is hope

but love
well love..
love is confusion

its the random stain on clean laundry
the bruises you wake up with
the moments of laughter
and heart ache,
that you miss having.
I’m in pain
Strong shrouded tears
Long and boastful years
Stain the hands of a soul

Hands filled with roses
The smell of dirt fills their noses
A place that is calm and serene

Solidarity describes the chamber
Gone describes the member
To home he lays in rest

When each to their own
Know they are grown
Hold the truth to their necks

A heart beaten and torn
Those of us left to mourn
An angel goes home at last
In memory
Luis Valencia Dec 2018
it feels like thunder
the first time always feels that way
he takes me in his hands and i melt
my body is overheating
i try to suppress my pleasure
i'm afraid to make a sound  
he kisses me
his lips are hot to the touch
everything about this is burning
sweat drips from our skin
his hands are holding mine and im lost
im feeling everything im feeling pleasure
the thunder booms
and i yelp and pant
then lighting strikes
it blooms all around us
it raises the hair on our skin
it flashes so quickly
i begin to relax
i feel warmth all over me
the rain begins to fall
and he lays beside me
i grab his hands and kiss his palms
the rain softens
and he pulls me closer
only he can create a storm inside my body
A tribute to the first time.
Luis Valencia Dec 2018
I lay in silence
I feel a sense of bliss here  
Skin on skin
The taste of sin on my tongue
I lay in his bed
With his  blanket wrapped around me

The light peers in through an open window
The wind blows outside
Leaves hit the windows screen
And stick there

He is snoring
My head is on his chest
I love him
I trace my finger along his chest

He wakes with ease and smiles at me
His hair awkwardly sticks up
And he reaches toward me
We kiss for what seems like an eternity
I kiss him as if I’ll die if I don’t
As if he’s the only thing keeping me alive

I could stay like this forever
And if not forever
Maybes a few minutes more
-if we meet again-
-I love you-
Luis Valencia Dec 2018
Dear Anyone

I lay awake listening to the sounds of a settling apartment
It creaks and moans and then goes still what I hate most is the silence
It’s ominous

I lay there in a cold bed
My chest feels tight
And my throat feels like it’s closing
My legs are shaking
My eyes are heavy

I ask for rest
I close my eyes and pray
I feel my hot breath escape my lips
My eyes burn and water leaks from them

I want to sleep
But I cannot
I think about leaving the room
But I’m scared I’ll disturb the silence

Tears try to leave my eyes
And my eyes begin to sting  
I cannot sleep
I will not sleep
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