The world has there idea
Of who a woman should be
Only she knows who she is
Most of the time
She just wants to be free

I was told all about revering flag
All men equal in land of the free
Then a guy hit a guy, called him ***:
Some equality. The guy he hit was me.
All I heard back then was constant rebuke
And thinly disguised batches of scorn.
So much so that I wanted to puke.
It was like they blamed me for being born.

What am I saying? They did blame me!
They wanted me to act more manfully.
There was never a another way but theirs
Not even if you are one of their heirs.
Wait, especially if you are related to them!
Who you are, the way you are is scary
Because it might make others question
Are they gay and why did they even marry?

So, I got the ugly looks and glances;
The hatred and the ugly names daily.
No chance of happy-ever-after romance
Because I was being taught to hate me.
And other gays, were taught self-hate too
And taught that they were not good.
I would have gladly reversed the situation,
In a hot minute, if I was sure I could.

But the ruling class was straight men
And their homophobic old boys club
And usually their families went along
So, there was no fix. Aye, there’s the rub.
I would be an adult before I realized
The idea is to ignore bigoted fools
And make room in your own heart
For a much more loving set of rules.

My mind is in an abyss of oblivion
From not believing what I see
A poet believes
That a word is worth thousand pictures
But some pictures
They are worth thousand nightmares
While I am awake and gasping for words to breathe
I can't imagine how I should feel
When seeing all the things I see
I can't realize what to think
Caught by a tornado of dispair
As helpness as one can be
To survive, one must have a heart of steel
To admit that the pictures are real
But all I manage to say is
It is not fair....

I saw a man
yesterday
staring at the
birds above
circulating
in the sky

I could see
his mind
liberated
in the smile
that slowly
made its way
to his face