My mind is in an abyss of oblivion
From not believing what I see
A poet believes
That a word is worth thousand pictures
But some pictures
They are worth thousand nightmares
While I am awake and gasping for words to breathe
I can't imagine how I should feel
When seeing all the things I see
I can't realize what to think
Caught by a tornado of dispair
As helpness as one can be
To survive, one must have a heart of steel
To admit that the pictures are real
But all I manage to say is
It is not fair....

I saw a man
yesterday
staring at the
birds above
circulating
in the sky

I could see
his mind
liberated
in the smile
that slowly
made its way
to his face

I am not a slave to cliches
Or to the chemicals
That bind my skin
To my bed frame
I am not a slave
To the have-beens
Or to TV dinners
halfway cooked
Eaten anyway
because I counted the calories
Already
I am not a slave
To the pain of waking up
In a foggy room
Where I cannot see the floor
I am not a slave
To myself
Anymore

love is not patient
love is not kind

love is leaving
the very first time
he puts his hands on you
in a way other than to
worship the skin
that fosters your soul
love is knowing
you are worth more

looking back
is not stepping down
do not mix up
regression and humanity

it's okay to love toxicity
it's okay to want it again
but remember how it felt
to have your walls crash in
you can yearn for the past
from the present
to smile and to laugh
but do so through rose colored glass
carefully; you are finally free

wait until it hurts to write
and when it hurts don't stop
it's okay to feel everything,
all at once, scattered on paper,
it's okay to give your heart
the right-of-way, it's okay
wait until it hurts to write
and when it hurts,

heal with words

when he comes back to apologize
be sure to recognize if it comes from
his mouth or his eyes, my dear.
one is a trick and one is sincere.

a sorry from the mouth
projects blame on your heart
for being too loving,
for playing its part
a sorry from the mouth
will try to mend a reputation
rather than any pain he caused
with his years of manipulation

a sorry from the eyes
is a sorry from the heart,
he says sorry for being so cruel
and not doing his part
a sorry from the eyes
will feel like a kiss
just know you deserve this

when he comes back to apologize
be sure to recognize if it comes from
his mouth or his eyes, my dear.
one is a trick and one is sincere

you are worth an apology for what has been done
rather than what you have felt as a reaction
tell that sucker that you're not looking to mend
don't give him the satisfaction

you cannot twist
the bones
in my protruding spine
to get me to dance
anymore

you cannot turn me
on
or off
with your ***** hands
anymore

and leave me on the floor
when you are finished
when you get bored
anymore

I am not your toy
anymore

I know how you feel
On knowing it was I who killed her
But she kept on begging
From the other side of the mirror