I am not a slave to cliches
Or to the chemicals
That bind my skin
To my bed frame
I am not a slave
To the have-beens
Or to TV dinners
halfway cooked
Eaten anyway
because I counted the calories
Already
I am not a slave
To the pain of waking up
In a foggy room
Where I cannot see the floor
I am not a slave
To myself
Anymore

love is not patient
love is not kind

love is leaving
the very first time
he puts his hands on you
in a way other than to
worship the skin
that fosters your soul
love is knowing
you are worth more

looking back
is not stepping down
do not mix up
regression and humanity

it's okay to love toxicity
it's okay to want it again
but remember how it felt
to have your walls crash in
you can yearn for the past
from the present
to smile and to laugh
but do so through rose colored glass
carefully; you are finally free

wait until it hurts to write
and when it hurts don't stop
it's okay to feel everything,
all at once, scattered on paper,
it's okay to give your heart
the right-of-way, it's okay
wait until it hurts to write
and when it hurts,

heal with words

when he comes back to apologize
be sure to recognize if it comes from
his mouth or his eyes, my dear.
one is a trick and one is sincere.

a sorry from the mouth
projects blame on your heart
for being too loving,
for playing its part
a sorry from the mouth
will try to mend a reputation
rather than any pain he caused
with his years of manipulation

a sorry from the eyes
is a sorry from the heart,
he says sorry for being so cruel
and not doing his part
a sorry from the eyes
will feel like a kiss
just know you deserve this

when he comes back to apologize
be sure to recognize if it comes from
his mouth or his eyes, my dear.
one is a trick and one is sincere

you are worth an apology for what has been done
rather than what you have felt as a reaction
tell that sucker that you're not looking to mend
don't give him the satisfaction

you cannot twist
the bones
in my protruding spine
to get me to dance
anymore

you cannot turn me
on
or off
with your ***** hands
anymore

and leave me on the floor
when you are finished
when you get bored
anymore

I am not your toy
anymore

I know how you feel
On knowing it was I who killed her
But she kept on begging
From the other side of the mirror

Young and intuitive
But hard headed and ill sensed
Loving and affectionate
But volcanic and disruptiveness
Kind and witty
But also too shy and silly
What do you call her?
A lost soul in her own body
Watching the world go by
Magnifying others highs, to begin feeling low
Low to the dead bottom
Where the skeletons lay, is where she always goes
While the sun still shines down on her
Giving her a guidance to a way out
But her will is so broken and her heart is so shivery
All she knows is misery
So she slips and falls back right to where she feels she belongs
Deep in the ground
No flesh, all bone
Where she imagines she would not know
Anything that would continue to pierce her poor soul
And some of the ache
She brought upon herself
Putting her heart on the shelf because she sees too much good in others that she forgets about who matters, and that is all of herself
Her health, her heart, her whole entire brain
This girl is just insane, and she still does not know who to blame
But thinks again and remembers she is intuitive
And the answer screams the devil is playing ring around the rosey,
Dancing all around me
Wanting her to get burned
Although she never does, the heat strikes very high
And by that time she's already climbing back to sanity, leaving that spiritual immorality
So if the fire cannot touch her
why does she just sit
Oh yeah, its the fear that she will hit to miss
Its the fear of not knowing if she will have this monster conquered held by his throat, helpless and cold in less than a year or so
Cause time is ticking and shes not getting any younger
Time is ticking, its no time for getting dumber
Its not time to get numb,
Its time she finds herself
And shows the devil who really won
Who knows how to win, how to fight, how to swim
Because i am a mermaid, and i rule the sea
I am the air that knows how you breathe
I am the sun that knows your body temperature
I am the winds that can send you all sorts of pressure
I am the mountains that will not collapse
And i am with god who would never let that monster get a pass
So who wins? Is it me?
yes,
Cause at the end of the day, i am the one who got back up and is moving forward, humble and free

Everywhere
is the farthest my body has ever been
Feathers soaked in tar, bodies longing to feel the world
Despite mute talks and stares
I’ve always felt powerful, in control of my explicit deeds
Naysayers, hypocrites and ‘know it all’s’ have judged
Bestowing sentences without paying attention to the facts
My dignity lies bare for the world to see
I’m lost, inadvertently in a moment of ‘trust or lust’
‘Love won’t pay the bills’ I retort
This market, filled with willing souls yearning to reach its peak
Pleasures whether fake or real keeps the pain at bay
Talented hands warm in the cold
Lips familiar but strangely conveying sensual nostalgia
Dollar bills falling: our exotic ticket to paradise
My body feels premium love here, what a shame.