I feel like I'm taking attention away from him. attention I know teenagers so desperately need at the age of 15, he says it's okay. but I know its not.
at the age of 17 I am being treated as if I will break at any moment. my brother who is only 15 puts me in a safe spot along with all the other delicate things in our home, right next to my mothers good china.
at the age of 14 my brother witnessed my first suicide attempt. he held me in his arms *** my mother tried to make me throw up. at the age of 14 he almost lost his sister.
so when I start smiling less and caring about myself less he notices, and attempts to make me laugh. all I do is give him a weak smile.
the smile he had on his face when I went to his orchestra concert after isolating myself in my room in autumn, warmed my chest.
a good sister is what I want to be.
someone who will be there and not take anymore of my mothers attention from him.
I want to pay him back for being there for me through all of those dark times, but first I need to learn how to be a good sister.
its 12am and I only ate 8 doritos so please excuse any mistakes or whatever
