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Loving you feels like the closest ill get to see the blue of a flame.

From the inside...
It's three am again, we've become well accuainted.
After rubbing elbows with the moon, I closed my eyes.
I feel your arm wrap around my waist, tugging my mouth into a sleepy smile.
I feel your lips grace my neck, the wetness feels like liquid gold.

My skin is covered in golden threads of your beautiful silken words.
I push my body back onto yours, all at once I was nestled in the cacoon of your safety.
My breath drew quick, shallow.
My skin burned.
My back arched, my wrist ached!
I rolled over to whisper sweet nothings between kisses.
But I just found cotton, and the loneliness of pillow talk...
I sometimes wonder if I want you because I can't have you?

I'll love you forever as you're eternally pure.

You're the one who got away, to leave me asking forever more.

Maybe you like keeping me here, distantly in love.

So, I'll forever dream of you, and never taste the disappointment that comes with trust.
Is this what writers do?
Lure their readers to a false sense of security?

You know that I'm in love with you.
So you, with insincerity, play my heart strings like poetry.
Im not really dead yet.
My chest rises and falls.
The breath escapes from my lungs, the air curls into ghosts of you.
Empty I loves as icy as your heart.

I won't be planning a funeral.
Doctors won't be pulling a sheet over my head.
There is life between my rib cage, it beats soft like a cats swishing tail.
There is life here, im apathetically not dead.

There is life here but not like with you.
Memories are haunting, like craving for water alone in the desert.
There is no LIFE here, only the stillness you left.
Kissing with your eyes closed is a fine line.
Kissing with your eyes open is creepy.
It's seen as insincere and unnatural.

But you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
And if I ever got to kiss you I fear I'd have to sneak peaks so I know I'm not still dreaming.

These wishes and ponderings belong to a broken heart.
My cracked lips and tear reddened eyes know better.
My dear heart and hands, they're begging you to let this go.

Let him go. Release me.
Amanda Francis Dec 2018
After much contemplation,
Self-preservation and intent meditation.

After many 3am meetings with the moon, many stitches holding me together after I pulled me apart.

After much soul searching and crippling doubt, Many silent poem designed put these flames out.

I befriended surrender!

I will love you forever as forever doesn't exist. I could be here tomorrow or walk into deaths mist.

Though loving you hurts its a pain that I know. It never leaves my side and like love it will grow.

Unlike you this pain loves me back, ill give myself up to it. A relationship of misery seems to be a must, so like a normal marriage for the one I can't have I'll always ****.
Amanda Francis Dec 2018
Cvnjuggg mend old pots with gold.
I try to mend you with love.
I pour it from me as if my ocean is endless.
I wrap you up and fold you, I nestle you safe under my skin.
But you remain cold and I can't get through.
I'm in love with you, im in love with you. I'm in love with you.
But my little heart can't stop the flood in its little raft.
Though your close, you're too far to save me....
Amanda Francis Dec 2018
I am lost again.
Lost between the pages of your favourite book.
I can see us between the lines.
You, the gentleman filled with magic and heroism.
Me, the lady you're falling in love with, but know you'll loose.
And somehow they will be the sweetest tears.

In reality, im curled up alone, reading your favourite book.
Seeing us between the lines.
And ill cry sweet tears, as watching them fall apart.
Is better than acepecting we'll never start.
Amanda Francis Dec 2018
If my dating account was real it would say...

None of you people are the person I'm in love with.

You're just a distraction.

Then I ask myself.

Who are you in love with?
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