#illness poems on Hello Poetry

Chloe Dec 2021

I don’t want to deal with heartache anymore;
don’t want to feel you in my pores
I want out of here
I know you are the only way
So, can you stay, just for tonight?
Can we pray for some light?
And if we stay here all our lives,
can we pray that it is right?
I just want to feel good
and to make it feel good for you
If you think I should,
I will kneel before you
ON THE CROSS
Oh, my hands are bleeding
You never said! You never bled!
I don’t see why I am being punished anymore
I have praised all my demons with justification
Though, I still need a way to find
instant gratification
So, can you forget just for tonight?
Can we pray since we can’t fight?
And if I say that I will be all right,
can we pray that the end is in sight?
I just want to feel you
and in one touch find the truth
If I pull through
I will kneel before you
IN THESE CHAINS
Oh, the dirt, it infects my blood
You never rested! I’ve been molested! Oh, my friend!
If you were resurrected
I may slay you again
This ******* holy water tortures me
Hey, I found a bible; it was burning
You left me soulless and yearning to believe
****, at this point, I would believe anything
So, can I pray if just out of fear?
Can anyone say if the end is near?
Can I battle off all my fears?
Will this be my last year?
And will I ever be born again?
Can my body ever be cleansed?
Lead me to a mirror to make amends
SHATTERED GLASS pierces all my friends
I was never told this would be easy
I was never told I had a ******* choice
No one ever told me it was okay to speak
I was never told to have a voice
So, I don’t
Also, *******.

2014 I think

#pain #faith #sad #abuse #mental #illness #manic #poem

Lisa Dec 2021

I am

I am the mentally ill daughter of a mentally ill daughter.
This is my birth right.
Along with skin that begs to be picked, bags that drag, and attitude given the name
problem.
Gifted eyes that stay red even after it's been hours.
We have been doomed from the start.
I think we've known this from the start.
Maybe thats why we are so angry.

#mother #daughter #ill #mental #illness #sad #depression #anxiety #tears #crying

Chloe Dec 2021

a dream about a hospital

Wake up in an unfamiliar cold bed
Warm blanket, back exposed
Not sure how you got there-
but you did it to yourself

Fighting tubes- back to sleep
You only wanted to apologize
They will never understand
And again- you never want to wake up

Rushed back into full consciousness
No compress for your bruised arms
Honesty becomes your worst enemy
when all you want is to go home

Neighboring, neglected withdrawal cries
A midnight delusional in your room
Halls filled with the souls of strangers
You never asked to be woken up

Rough socks, ammonia scented floor
Bolted windows- no escape
All you want is to go home-
but you did it to yourself

#guilt #apology #mental #illness #nostalgia #sad #regret #poem #poetry

Jael O'Dell Dec 2021

An Act Of Desperation

Where to start?
A broken heart,
cloudy skies,
blinded eyes,
hollow bones,
anxious tones,
a shaking hand,
a crumbling land,
an empty head,
I should be dead.
Trembling legs,
throat of gags,
roughed lips,
unused hips,
frail arms,
can do no harm.
Nothing left,
a torn cleft,
loss of scent,
my life is spent.
A black abyss,
the forgotten kiss,
shallow breath,
I'm close to death,
frigid tongue,
my life is hung.
Said my goodbyes,
my body dies.
A living hell,
this empty shell,
many tears,
for you, my dear.
Save my please!
From this disease.
**** my sorrow,
on the morrow,
don't let me go,
down below.
Pick me up,
help me sup,
I'm on my knees!
Forgive me?... please...

#depression #suicide #illness #decay #redemption #forgiveness

Chloe Dec 2021

the cure

Searching for something
that stars with “S”
and ends in “tonin”
to heal my thoughts.

Just hand me a cigarette
I already have cancer
of the soul

Searching for something
that starts with “Oxy”
and ends in “tocin”
I drain the ocean
from me
as it drains from you

Just prescribe me
the ******* Prozac
I’ll never feel pleasure
ever again, anyways

Is there a cure for dry mouth?

#medication #humor #mental #illness #side #effects #poem

Chloe Dec 2021

Burning leaf

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
You are the fire
that keeps me burning
through winter.

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
You are the fire
that keeps me burning
through winter
Like burning ash.

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
You are the fire
that keeps me burning
through winter
Like burning ash
It is too much.

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
You are the fire
that keeps me burning
through winter
Like burning ash
It is too much.
And I am sorry.

Will I be the last leaf?
You are the fire
burning ash
and it is too much
and I am sorry.

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?

#fall #winter #care #trust #love #poem #poetry #illness

Paige Nov 2021

That Girl

Don’t be that girl
But I already am
And I’ve done a lot of damage
With my own two hands
And I guess it’s hard to tell
But I know it’s easy to see
That every version I give
Is a different side of me
But I keep my mouth shut
The way I’m told I should
And I bite back my answer
When they say it’s all good
And I fold myself up
Let my face say it all
Denying your assumptions
Even when they’re not wrong
Because I really don’t care enough
To keep playing games
And I’m kind of ******* tired
Of people screaming my name
And I’m more than my body
Or “you’re cool it’s just that”
Or how every time I ignore a guy
He responds with “oh well you’re fat”
And I’m sick of second guessing
And being the next choice
Sick of being crossed off the list
Sick of not using my voice
I’m sick of the noise
Screaming constant in my head
Sick of wishing for more, or worse
Wishing I was dead
I’m sick of wanting
Because that **** never works
And I’m sick of not feeling
Because even that ******* hurts
And I’m always the one
But somehow never ******* enough
Unless we’re just *******
But hey, it might be love
Right?
What a ******* joke
So funny I keep laughing
And I keep medicating
As if it’s not a bad thing
But ******* it I’m tired
******* over being this
Because this is never chosen
And I’m just constantly ******
So let it be silent
For even a second of peace
Before I really lose my ****
And forget how to breathe
Because I’m that ******* girl
And I always have been
And I’ll drag your *** with me
When I’m in hell for my sins.

#vent #anger #mental #illness #feminism

Abi Nov 2021

Free

“I wish I wrote the way I thought;
Obsessively,
Incessantly,
With maddening hunger.
I’d write to the point of suffocation.
I’d write myself into nervous breakdowns,
Manuscripts spiraling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing.
And I’d write about you a lot more than I should.”
-Benedict Smith

But instead I write nothing
And hope that my thoughts are understood through my actions
Knowing the impossibility of it all
Because of the enigma that I was and continue to be
Desperate to fix myself when there is nothing broken
Grasping at pieces to make whole what was never shattered in the first place

I have created an illusion for myself to live with my trauma and try to label what makes me different
But I am slowly realizing that trauma does not define me
And my differences are what make me unique
What give me the power to view the world the way I do
What will enable me to change the broken world around me and finally allow myself a sense of peace

Some may say that I am selfish, to want to fix others but to never acknowledge my own flaws
This is not me saying I am perfect, but instead me finally giving myself closure from the wounds inflicted upon me by others... and by my self
No longer need I patch myself up and play the role designed by those trying to mold me into what they think I should be
No more do I daydream about the ways I could love you but never be loved in return
For the first time, I am free

Cheers to letting go of the things we cannot control and allowing ourselves to heal

#healing #free #past #trauma #mental #illness #broken #pieces #whole #self

Wandering Biku Nov 2021

Ego

Woken early by my black dog
growling at another rabbit hole,
pulling at the leash to
dig out some sorrow or fear
to bring back home
and leave at my door.

And there it would stay,
if I were in charge.
But today my Ego stands
waiting for His treat and
carries it into my mind.
And there He starts his dissection.

Pulling apart the fresh, raw,
sinewy emotions, Ego searches
for what disgusts and repels Him,
what challenges His very existence.
Where He finds it, He creates
suffering that wasn’t there before.

He relishes this for it is his
life force, this is the stuff of
anxieties, hatred and misery
which He pushes onto me as
the proof of why I should be
what I should be.

He points to where I’ve been wronged
and stokes my fires of self pity,
anger and indignation. Whipping up
within me what He needs to survive,
an identity different to ‘those others’,
so its me and Him versus the world.

But its not. I want no part of His critical
joy, the self-satisfaction and justification
for his continued being. I work
to see his tricks and machinations
so I might see Him coming and
expel Him and his ever-present hound.

Never-ending exploration of my weird mind

#mental #health #illness

Datore Fargo Nov 2021

Wings

I saw butterflies,
perch,
on my toes,
last night.
They fluttered down,
from the ceiling,
calling my sole,
their home.
Onyx wings,
somehow sparkle,
in the late,
early hours,
of dawn.
I ponder,
will they,
carry me,
to my end,
this time?
Only wishes,
and the anxiety,
of being lost,
again,
this time.
I dream,
of freedom,
from reality.
It’s mocking my,
illusions,
birthing them into,
hallucinations.
My brain,
broken,
haphazardly,
glueing,
the pieces,
together.
Lost,
I’m drowning,
forgotten,
I should be,
flying.

Recently I’ve been sick, I’ve been having seizures, hallucinations. Unfortunately we haven’t figured out what is wrong with me, it’s neurological. I start medicine today so I may disappear for a while, but this poem is the closest I can get to expressing me again. I hope you enjoy.

#metaphor #depression #anxiety #illness #epilepsy #seizures #hallucinations