Have you ever been confused about how you feel
Because you're not sure what's real?
Have you ever been filled with dread
because you can't get out of your head?
I have too.
Have you ever been picked on in school
and done something desperate just to make them think you're cool?
Have you ever neglected yourself by pushing your feelings aside
Because you were afraid of what would happen if people found out how much you were hurting inside?
I have too.
What I'm trying to say is if you think you're alone, you're not.
Take it from me. If you can find the courage to ask to talk to someone, it can help alot

I awoke to the crashing sound of thunder,
outside my window, I stared, placed with wonder.
The day was umbral and stormy, with no light in sight.
Cold sensations in the air, something didn’t feel right.
I searched the house, to find my Mom slumped on the floor.
She was crying and she swore that Dad left for that *****.
Emptiness filled me, and my eyes darkened with detest.
My “father” cleaved her heart beating from her chest.

When he left, he abducted something from me.
He robbed my sister’s opportunity at having a good father.
For that, I love him no longer
and hope that when he is dying no one bothers.
He robbed my mother’s peace and love
and left her doubting the realness of above.
I hate such a coward and wish that he could die a thousand deaths;
I pray that his existence would collapse as he loses his last breath.
He ruined our lives and set them in disarray,
fraying our world as soon as he left our driveway.
However, when he departed, he also replaced.
He left my mother with destabilizing depression,
he left my sister with a skepticism of man’s impression,
he left myself with a lack of self, with no exception.

For the one who takes, loses in turn.
For his life, I wish to burn and burn.

I heard a song today that I know
I am not better for having heard.

*******, Steve Forbert and
******* for
 
                       "But everything burned
                         And fell from my hand
                         I had to turn back
                         Or build a new plan"

My life was better before this affirmation
of the universal human experience
of whole entire worlds burned
to less than ashes
in those moments of clarity.

                          "Meet me in the middle of the day
                            Let me hear you say everything's okay
                            Meet me in the middle of the night
                            Let me hear you say everything's alright"

We could have stopped at
"Romeo's Tune"
and danced forever
in the kitchen of my heart.

That might have been
the nostalgic space you occupied
but you weren't ever happy
until you had force ****** me:
                          "You're thinking you've found
                            The one special place
                            Where all your dreams
                            Will walk out in line
                            And follow the course
                            You've made in your mind
                             It isn't gonna be that way"

1978-2020
More than forty years apart
the same soul sick hurting!

Can you feel it now
when the sun warms your skin?
Does your heart sing love songs as before?
Did it feel like betrayal when you
rejoined everyone who had been waiting?

I need so much to believe
you are ok now Steve Forbert.