After he ruined me and tore my self esteem into pieces sending me in a downwards spiral straight to the hospital once again. I sat there with an iv through my vein and a hole in my chest; and I still wanted him to love me. I wanted him to check up on me to see if I was okay. I wanted him to think losing me was the worst mistake of his life. I wanted him to miss me like I missed him.

-k.f.

my hands are always cold
but not when they're interlaced
with yours.

something about us is right.
i'm drowning in your light.

i never thought drowning
would be this nice.

The one that I love,
he's so sweet.
He lights up my dreams,
as I close my eyes to sleep.

His smile is a sight
that I always long to see.
Even when I'm upset,
his laughter spreads to me.

When things become tough
and rain comes crashing down,
despite not knowing how to swim,
I'll never let him drown.

Sometimes you meet people and they aren’t meant to be your forever.
Although it’d be great if it could be that way, wouldn’t it?
You bond with them over the little things like pizza toppings, music and sports teams. The short conversations when you see them “out on the night” turn into hours of laughter and before you know it you’re waking up next to them the next morning—Then mornings that follow
You begin to get used to the fact that they’re now apart of your every day routine.
Suddenly, when the phone calls stop, the text messages stop, the dinner dates, and the sleepovers; all of the things you did together come to an end that is when you realize forever isn’t within them.
But God, isn’t forever kind of cliché?
How is someone going to love me forever?
I’m sure they’d get tired of my obnoxious laugh and how I find things that aren’t usually found funny by others, funny to me.
Or how I have to sleep with a fan on and the T.V. off. How I constantly have to be reassured because everyone before them tore me down repeatedly.
How can you find forever in me?
Forever. Forever in a girl who isn’t sure about where she wants to go or who she wants to be? Forever in a girl who isn’t sure forever is real at all.

it was never meant to
be this way
Jesus didn't come here
to create religion
he came
to create relationships

he never
wanted this divide
he only
wanted to know us
personally

this is why
we must
lay religion down
and
raise our relationship with Him up.

Don't cry tender soul it's not your time
Ask me anything and you shall see
Nothing is as hard as it used to be
I've brought you strawberry milk, let me nom your feet
Everything is perfect, your kisses all over me
L**ove me like I do you, you are the start of everything

I'm young.
I'm scarred.
I'm traumatized.
So why do I want *that?

Maybe the stars feel lonely too,
perhaps they’re hurting inside,
crying through the night
because they can’t have you.

All I want is for your poison
to black out my light
just like the sun fades the stars
with every sunrise.

And as the stars stare at you
the sadness haunts me,
their spirits wander lonely
the same way as I do.