Let's build a house and make it out of stone.
We will craft it using the Earth
That raised us from the dank ashes of our ancestors,
Many before us tried to build this house,
Yet they failed because they weren't us.
Each stone we put on these walls feels cold in our hands,
Like my dead body that you somehow pulled me from this earth.
We build and build,
Comparing our callous hands.
Even though your hands looked damaged and hideous
I kept looking at your smile,
The way it shines light up our house from afar
We held each other's decrepit hands
And walked towards this beautiful creation we made.
That we would call a home.
I walk through the high ceilings
As pictures of us melt through the blood cherry wallpaper.
Every time I take a breath I can smell our endless nights of laughing
And exhaling the times you kicked me in your sleep.
We held this roof
Through our love of crafting this house.
On this house with me and you.
But that was the past.
So close yet never far enough
I can hear this heart beating in the floorboards,
The sounds vibrates the house
As it gets louder every time
I smell your shampoo on someone else,
I'm scared,
Whenever I glance at the pictures of us all i feel is pain
I tear them down one by one
Like a beast that I have become
And maybe it's only me,
But I feel that the air has changed in this house,
Now whenever I breathe in,
I feel you laughing at the way I sleep
When I exhale, I loose all of the words
That I can use to convince you to come back home
And rest your legs on my lap,
I get closer to the place where you used to draw
I see this sea of darkness
And that heart beating on an island
That’s where you sat there and told me
“I think its time”
I wrestle the murky waters until I hold the last moment
Before you broke my heart.
Something is changing me,
My hands feel too heavy
With this newfound disease that caress my flimsy body.
This veiny structure
That I think are my emotions
Is melting me to the ground
Like the walls build before,
I wish I wish I wish
for things to restart
And depart that other thought
That slipped out off my feeble lips.
You see these lips?
These lips tell no jokes,
See this smile?
It's tired from holding itself up
You see, It’s being held prisoner
From the thoughts you thought about.
Yet all I think about was when you sat there,
Looking both ways to see if you can cross my mind unnoticed:
You definitely didn't.
Now All I have left is this hole you dug me up from,
And all I Ask of you is to put me back where you found me.
