Sugar slips down this hourglass
protected inside shimmering bulbs,
counting down my possibilities
as I run out of sweetness.

Mellow crystals of the past:
My coffee is bitter and dark.
But I swear I’ll wait grain by grain
for your last time travelers
to get in line,
and smash your cowardice
against this wall.

And when we are face to face,
and your refinement motionless
on the floor,
you’ll tell me,
you’ll tell me how much is left for us.

Duties were tormenting me
like Tetris pieces raining
at an impossible speed.
I made chamomile tea,
and waited for the “GAME OVER” sign.

A man with no face
went to the edge of chaos
once I fell asleep.
He demanded a blanket
from the winter, a song
from Mercury, and a smile
from me.
And arranged them beautifully
without gaps
like Tetriminos making a line,
and disappearing
as I woke up.

I know that that heavy burden has been clawing inside your heart,
Years has passed,
You never tell,
I never asked.

I've seen your fall from the catastrophe,
And I know your pain in immense.
But what worse it could be,
I am standing helplessly,
Feeling like a *****,
But not doing anything.
I wish you'd have allowed me just for once
To enter there
Where you have suppressed your pain so hard.

Just tell me once,
how is it valid
to share the laughter aloud
but when it comes to tears,
(your tears)
You back off.

Just tell me once,
Why is it easy
to talk about all the beauty and the bounty the life has given,
to buttonhole me with all your talks,
Squabbling around the irrelevant sometimes,
But it scares you to talk about the story of your scars.

Just tell me once,
how is it fair
that my pain, my trouble, my problem becomes ours,
and yours is always yours.

Just tell me once,
why you are so hard to explore.
It's been years of our being together,
why you are always this mysterious.

Just tell me once
how is it relevant in our strong bonding of ages.

May be it's too painful to talk about,
May be it's me who isn't worthy enough,
Whatsoever it may be,
but I know you ain't much healed,
And it bothers me.

I can't assure you that unveiling your scars will heal you definitely
But the one thing I am sure of:
It feels good to be listened,
listened in enchantment.
I know it because you do the same to me
And It bolsters my strength.

Honey!
We all have our shadows
Pour it out &
Burn them down.
May be then you'll feel a little lighter.

The same newspaper...
A picture oozing guileless joy

Eyes wide with laughter, eyes filled with happiness;
Hands clasped together, feeling kinship with each other;
Happy tears rain down on cheeks, frozen in this colorful sheet;
Loud cries of delight, silent and muffled in my reality;
Big bright colorful light cover the expanse of the background, not adding much beauty to the sight at hand;

Chaos and order dare not to stand side by side, they would rather mix together and collide;
There is no need to breach any peace, its already within a hand's reach;
Children yearn not for peace, but for a chance to be part of a celebration delivered by peace;

Nothing would be more sweeter than to remain in this blissful state;
Determination marked their faces, but only to win fame and prize;
Dancing, and reading national poems should be admirable, but it balks when at contrast with my previous sight;

Haplessness engulfs me yet again, where am i needed here?
Where can I make a change?
I could add to to an already existing happiness, will it be fulfilling?
How Can i make something complete, more complete?
Where is my purpose here?
I settled for a prayer,
For such happiness not be stolen,
For the children to always delightfully smile, to know nothing of the horrors of war;

The picture remain as it is, nothing to add...nothing to extract

A newspaper..
A picture oozing desperation..

Eyes wide open in horror, eyes filled with terror;
Hands clasped together, seeking console from each other;
Sad tears walk a path down on cheeks, frozen in this white and black sheets;
Silent cries of agony, loud and clear in my reality;
Green trees cover the expanse on the background, softening not the sight at hand;
Chaos and order stand side by side, divided by a barbed fence to keep strangers at hand;
Peace is so close to reach, yet its so hard to breach;
An extended hand through the fence's opening reach, cries for help and beseech;
Defeated children stood on higher ground, wistfully yearning for a safety beyond the line to be found;

One land they share, the same landscape everywhere, divided by that one line there;
Nothing would be more sweeter than walking to the other side, to be engulfed in the safety of the other land, to stumble across its ground;

Defiance marked the eyes, determination marked their faces;
Climbing over barbed wires, is a thing to admire;
A hole in the fence surly is an offense, but the notion balks under constant threat of imminent death;

Helplessness engulfs me, so to my mind's fantasy I flee;
I grab them all in the palm of my hands, transfer them to a far away land;
To a place where they live in peace, nothing to drive them away from a home that ease;
Where I can see smiles on children's faces, nothing to steal away the innocent race;

Again at the picture I look, and my mind excitedly shook;
The picture remained, and the people no longer were in pain;
For the picture only contained, the land, the trees and the barbed terrain;

It became but a picture of a landscape, a speck of history draped in mystery.

Thick chilling lines
Trick trick trickling down the canvas
Swift passionate movements
A cold critical stare

The colors are entangled with passion
The paint lays in heaps of hard work
Yet you crash to the linoleum
Thrashing out your arms-

Then all is still and smells of lavender
The birds of the canvas sing
Their songs melancholy and hopefully
Yet they will never fly

Manic:
synonyms: mad, insane, deranged, demented, maniacal, lunatic, wild, crazed, demonic, hysterical, raving, unhinged, unbalanced etc;

Depressive:
causing feelings of hopelessness, despondency, and dejection.

Manic
******* pairs of strangers every weekend, because them thinking you're desirable cures the hollowness for a minute or two

Depressive
Letting a man tie you to a bed and rip the skin off your shoulder with his teeth because you deserve to hurt

Manic
Getting higher than you've ever been so you can have an excuse to scream

Depressive
Crying at night and pretending its loneliness that's ******* you up

Manic
Driving a car you stole from your sister, even though you don't have a license or a clue where you're headed

Depressive
Drinking tequila during class so you can prove to yourself that you really are a badass

Manic
Dressing like a ******* and letting random men get you in their cars

Depressive
Punching a wall so hard your knuckle breaks

Manic
Calling yourself hot **** while you sob over the sink and then laugh at the world's beauty

Depressive
****

Manic*
****

You took away all the tools
to allow me to fix us

I'm sitting here with my hands tied behind my back
waiting for you to release them
So I can reach you.
So I can hold you.

So I can tell you how sorry I am.

Please release me.

Hey! I know you hear me,
I know **** comes at you
With intent to blind u so u can't see.

Tip, tipsy, drunk, insanity
I'm screaming and yelling
I love you infinitely.

You've ran, you've hid.
From the memory of
All u did.

Two kids r awaiting.
Keep going and they'll b hating.

Why, do u fall so far?
What if u pass out,
Behind the wheel of a car?

I'm fighting not to yell and curse,
Cause I dont wanna be following a Hearst.

You call me. Confused.
Don't like this abuse.
It's all around you.
People tryn to use....

Use your soul.
Until it's old.
Rotten and cold.

Can't seem to get in your head.
Show u where to go,
Cause I don't want you dead.

Aaron. Let's the air in the room.
He smiles and lights up.
Life is good. For the turn of the moon.

That ******* bottle.
I wanna break them all.
Tell u that u can't wallow.

Your inner strength is your pain.
And when u cry it's like the pouring rain.

I never saw my mom's death.
I can never say I've had it worse.
U sat all alone at 8yo.
And watched her last breath.

I know that's where it comes from deep within.
U fight day by day. To not pick up that sin.

A guiding hand,
A word of might.
Maybe if I tell u how much
You matter.
U won't die tonight.

To a dearest friend
Aaron.

I love you, you r my family.
Those kids who made it out of hell.
Still hiding in that hard shell.
Cuz we don't know where else to be.

I said I believed in u.
And that was no lie.
Can't imagine how painful it is.
That I gotta watch u cry.
Fear. And doubt crumbles the hope
You hide.

No matter what!
I forgive you.
I always do.
Can't be on this ride.
And expect everything to be new.

So like I said before...
Put the bottle down.
Sober up.
U can't keep falling
Insideout. On your crown.

*To Aaron.
It's not over.
Until u look in the mirror.
And start caring'.