Why am I looking at him?
Why do I smile when I see him?
Why My heart beat so faster when you beside me?
My heart beating so fast like seconds in an hour, and it's because of you?
Why am I being like this?
Is it love?
Am i falling in love?
With you?

Like a
Heartbeat
You are
Always
With me
Until
You ...

The heart that beats within me now
Was silent for a while:
Shouldering the guilt of years
And clothed in my denial.

And when, those blurry months ago,
It stirred to life again,
I tried to still my beating heart
The way it was back then.

I should have known, I should have seen
Through my soul's sad disguise;
But ev'ry time I saw the truth
I quickly closed my eyes.

The heartbeat in my shackled chest
Was loud, but I was louder.
Sticking fingers in my ears,
I hummed to quell the doubter.

"Your heart's alive! It beats again!
The fears you loved have faded."
But I felt safe behind the bars
My jailed heart had created.

So, silently, this gentle Trust
That I had never known
Came whisp'ring through to save my heart
Of flesh, and not of stone.

Trust wrapped its arms around me
And lifted up my soul
From depths of blue obscurity
And I gave up control.

I opened up my eyes that day
And though they shone with tears,
The hurting heart inside of me
Felt stronger than those fears.

A baby awake
lulled and rocked gently to sleep
by mother's heartbeat

Could you make pace with a poet's heartbeat?
Could you make pace with the unimaginable thoughts that she comes across even while she is asleep
Could you make pace with something that's not even constant
Could you make pace with the way she walks for miles just to collect a few stories of smiles?
Could you find her a reason for the way she talks or acts while she mad at her own self ?
Cause at that point even she can't make pace with her own self
A poet who can write about anything and everything that she comes across gets blank gets out of her wits to find words to describe what she wants to explain but oh! alas!
How can she explain something by whose presence she is blotted out by whose being she exists

Behave, my heart
you skip, jolt,
race
catching up with
the speed of light
you and your
weak faith, and
your strong
predilection towards
fear and worry

You are ferocious,
unrelenting
both quick and false
bitter and
remorseful
believing and
disbelieving
polarizing
hypocritical
and sad

running,
always
running away
stealing my breath
away

God is engineering
your every beat
He owns you
You are borrowed from
Him

So go on, heart,
do what you want,
bolt,
gallop,
fly,
and sprint.

But be joyous
in your every erratic,
wild beat.
And only pump life
and faith
and wisdom.

Thump. Thump. Thump.
That's the sound of your heart,
Thump. Thump. Thump.
That means you are alive,
Thump. Thump. Thump.
All of your cells, all of your beautiful cells,
Thump. Thump. Thump.
They are here for you,
Thump. Thump.
You didn't listen.
Thump. Thump.
You didn't care.
Thump. Thump.
You were in so much pain,
Thump. Thump.
The bullying,
The screaming,
The pain
Thump.
Everything, stopped,
Including the pain.

In my heart, it is always summer.
We are watching Netflix on your couch.
My head is on your chest
and I pretend to pay attention to the movie
while I memorize the rhythm of your heartbeat.
We are stumbling in after a night of dancing.
I run to our balcony and you follow me.
You hold me while you point out different constellations
but I am too busy studying your profile against the moon.
I am waiting for you in bed
and you walk through the door singing softly.
I am falling asleep to the sound of your breathing,
thinking there is nowhere else I would want to be.
In my heart, summer never ended.