dreaming
someone does something
i will defend myself hard
hospital for all

It seems that
there are some lessons
that can only be learned
the hard way.

I thought it was supposed to get better
but instead

it just keeps getting worse

Not trying to impress you, I'm just trying to get by
I've been running out of breath and out of hope and out of time
And if I pass this finish line, I'll just keep moving on
Surprised that I still made it even though it took so long.

'Cause I have failed so many times that sometimes I don't try
I wrap up in my fears and thoughts and curl up tight to hide
But no matter what it is that gets me on my feet again
To go again is all that's left, so I count down from ten.

Ten more breaths until my heart can settle in my chest;
Nine more hours on the clock until I get to rest;
Eight times more that I can tell myself I'm not alone;
Seven more reminders of the way that I have grown;

Six more chances left to give myself the care I need;
Five more minutes off the clock that I can use to breathe;
Four good beats to count inside my steady beating heart;
Three attempts that might not fail that I just need to start;

Two things left to say before I rise up from the depths;
One more time I'll brush myself off and take one more step.

I'm a brick layer
by incarnation
by aspiration
by luminosity.

I find unfinished buildings-
toppled skyscrapers-
imaging their foundations
their structural intelligence.

With a brick here
and some love there;
once demolished
can be reassembled.

I'll reconstruct
your finest details,
the youthful aspirations
of an idyllic generation.

Too naïve to
understand that unforgiving
weather can happen
to even the kindest of buildings.