Smoothly blossoming
Images you dreamt about
Now discover new meaning
Delving into symbols
Within the recesses
Chariots towering cathedrals
Spiralling atop the citadel
For colossal mountains
To emerge out the slumbers
Which had captivated
Drifting into languor
Feasting upon grandeur
Eating away at your desires
Required a wake up call
Dreaming and forgetting
Remembering then neglecting
Embracing because important
The flowers which had inspired
Had budded couched requirements
To brave the fallow time
As the land prepares for summer
When the gardeners rejoice
Having kept calmly entwined
With the overgrown and rotting
For something magnificent

The moment I started to think I'm incapable of being loved-
Was it when they took what they wanted, unprovoked?
Came too soon,
Was it when I was "a little bundle
of joy"?
Did I learn then, that I was just
a toy?
Was it then, when my father
walked away?
Was that my price to pay
for being born that day?
How could it it be, when I didn't do
anything wrong?
You left without a word,
left me here all along.
Did I learn it before I could even
speak?

Was it when, the man, old
enough to be my grandfather grabbed my hand?
Did my breath hitch, as he whispered those awful words?
I was barely eleven, it didn't make
any sense,
his breath on my skin, the feeling of his fingertips grasping for mine,
as he'd say with a smile, "Our fingers
are making love,"
Was it the first time?
Or just the first time I remembered?

Was it when the stranger
grabbed my *******?
Was it then I was infested?
Did I learn that hands could only take,
not to give?

Did it start all  too soon?

I was searching for love! I was searching for long
In eyes, looking keenly at me,
In hands, touching upon me subtly,
In words, which were a trap foresee.

I was searching for rescue painfully long time
In those others and in yourself at all.
I pinned faith on all blindly and silly
That all of you were meant for me whole.

I was searching for the truth entirely honestly
In them, in you and in myself again.
And while I was searching for, I realized, that
The truth is there, where the calmness reins.

I handed myself at the mercy of the Night.
There's no fear and there's no shame.
I'll finish my useless searches here.
The Night is the calmness! This is proclaimed!

There's no promise of love,
I was lucky to find it.
Nothing says there will be someone there,
For you to hold or be held by,
When the storm rolls in.
A very few get to know,
Just how it feels,
To embrace your lover.
Carefully placing your hand on their face,
Love isn't promised,
Possibly it may never come,
So I am lucky to have it now.

I've known you for so long,
Longer than forever,
Longer than all the circles of hell,
Longer than simply never.

I remember your cracks
On your wind-chapped lips,
Every wrinkle on your hands
Because of a strong freeze.

I hear every your word
That is kept quiet by you.
It's like a movie in constant replay,
In which I can't hear you.

I've got away so many times...
Or maybe I thought so...
The result is that I've never been able to.
And now I'm here in whole.

I'm with you, completely rudderless.
I don't need it at all.
I think I'll watch the rest of my life
Here, with you in the starring role.

Without a single word,
They tell their stories—
Years spent apart,
Yet yearning to meet.

Fingers trace memories,
Whispers of time gone by,
Silent but profound,
In their gentle touch, they sigh.

They speak of love and loss,
Of moments slipped through sand,
A timeless conversation,
In the language of hands.

do hands deserve fingers
if they do not hold
do ears deserve sound
if they do not listen
do eyes deserve sight
if they do not see

do you deserve love
if you broke me

My earrings are handmade by hands that don’t love me.
The fingers that bent metal into joyous, beautiful shapes were my own.
But I struggle to love those hands.
I struggle to love the body or mind attached to them too.

I was raised by hands that don’t love me.
Ever since I was small, I’ve known somewhere
that my tiny fingers were only valued
once they grew into working hands.

I’ve done it again.

I’ve let him take you, screaming, kicking, and crying.

Standing in the hallway I put on my armor and prepare for battle. My station - in front of your cracked bedroom door.

Even though I am scared, I am used to this. This armor has weighed on me since you were old enough to talk. I became your shield, your champion, your guard. Nobody can hurt you when I’m around.

And when I start my advance, I am hit with a dark, frantic, gaze that freezes me mid stride; sending chills down my spine, and my only way in vanishes instantly with a muted wooden slam.

I failed. I failed. I failed. I FAILED.

I really believed I could save you. That my words would actually make him stop this time. But I am small, and he is big, and scary, and violent.

And I am nothing.

Can you hold my hand so I don't fall?
Even though happiness pays me,
Like she owes me debt,
Sadness still comes a'knocking,
Looking for little bills and floor pennies.
Because I didn't put money,
In his street jam cup.
Though he'd just buy bottles of melancholy with it.