When I begin to fret and fume,
my peace comes up, just rises up.

The woe is not mine, I'm fine.

Contain myself, I wish for money,
in abundance, and settle for a smile
on my face that I did not put there,

saying, just now, enough,

just enough, to know, too much
is superfluity, intentionally let spill.

there's secrets, hidden beneath the corduroy
a world of wonder
where admission varies
guest to guest,
it's a game of guess
at whether you're let in
or you're like the rest,
corduroy's the fashion though
for sure
they'll be others
that hold you high up
just to push you down under

You are never
clear with me
about
What it is you want.
I always have to guess.
Is this just a game to you?
Is my heart a play thing;
somewhere for you to make a mess?
Or
maybe it's a dream
meaning
It's all made up
And I should wake up.

I want to
Give you
All
Of me.
But I gotta know
You want me
I
Gotta know you
Need me
Know that
You can complete me.

I'm ready to become
Whole again

tired of


Splitting


Up
;

tired of

trying

  To

   Piece

    Back

Bits of my soul,
Fragments
S h a t t e r e d by senselessness.

blacked in sin.

I need my peace back.
I don't like to ask
But
I hate to guess
I'm wondering -
Can you be that?

When I met you I knew what the end would be
I knew this was temporary at best

People like us don’t get the fairy tale
Happily ever afters are for normal people

You told me all about your past
It was all too easy to predict your future

I accounted for everything in that moment
I accounted for everything except for my heart

I never meant to do this
Why did we fall in love?

At least we had us
Even if just for a breath of time

I guess I must be
A criminal
Because I
Am a prisoner
And people hurt
For a reason
As far as
Reasons go
I don't have many
Just a bucket
Full of guilty
Misbeliefs
All the lies
That I tell
To the me
In the mirror
I know I'm
No good
But god I'm
Just a little girl
Only fifteen
Aren't I allowed
To think
I'm pretty
Can't I believe
That someone
Might love me
What happened
To twirling my
Fingers in
My curled hair
Because they
All say to
Trust my intuition
But intuition's
A *****
And she says
Everything
I don't want
To hear
That is my
Heartbreak
Reality
My saddest
Totality

I am not
Pretty
I am not
Witty
I am not
Smart
I am not
Creative
I am not
Loving
Nor am I
Loved
I am not
Perfect
I am not
Enough

Second best to all of your friends,
'Cause you know I'll love you 'til the end.

I am what the others were;
A hopeless fool who's dancing in your blur.

Wrapped around your finger, I do as you say.
It feels like you just linger, but I'm asking you to stay.

Unsure if you can handle this, so you keep your options open.
I pretend I don't notice, so they don't see me choking.

Constant competition with people I've never met.
Offering you a better life in pictures on the internet.

The grass isn't greener on the other side.
But when you've got no grass, even the weeds look nice.

I used to be the wild rose, and you didn't mind my extra thorns.
But now the cold wind blows, my petals fall and I am scorned.

Everyday, I hope you still love me.
In your eyes, is there anyone above me?

Every night, you leave me guessing.
Be honest with me, relieve my stressing.