Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
ardnaxela Jul 1
?
Am I really
just fighting
for
my family
or
is there more
like
am I all
?
so
fighting for
the feeling
of having someone
to care
for me
**** it
I deserve it
I deserve it.

or
could it be
the fight was
Just
a façade
am I All
ready
?
falling
victim to the fear
of failure
?
am I alright... ?
ardnaxela May 4
living off
of apologies and time
spent in desperation
recollecting and reflecting
on where
all of the good vibes went
then
I may have smoked them.

underestimating my
control
of the situation
like I'm not
educated in protecting
my Peace
and healing my whole
mind, body
and Spirit

deflecting questions of
my integrity
all
because I prefer
complexity -
it takes me
three lefts
to make it right.

also some
times
I have to remind
myself
that it's okay
to cry
boiling hot emotions
got this little black kettle
singing high

currently
I'm choking
on the
hard pill
of a broken home
..heartache
worse than a broken bone
this is admitting to myself
that
I could be traumatized.
True.

I need a
get away
like Lenny says
quick break
with Mary, Garcia
and Vega
the only chance I ever get
to take flight.

in all Honesty
I am really
tired
of people
pushing me
and pulling me.
college drop-outs
they think
they schooling me
they are
tools to me.
Shorty,
swing my way
with that hammer
No
I'm not
driving for that *****.

some say real
Love is
Black
some say it's
blue..
I say it's both
you know
the winners
always leave with
a little
bruise .
or two . .
or3 . . .

there probably may come
a time of day
where
you have to choose
whether
to lose
yourself
in this matrix
or
to fight
by your own rules
and well

Here

is to you,
my Little Light
your presence is proof
that some
times
choosing
True
Love is
the right thing to do.
this started as a song.
ardnaxela Mar 1
True

enough to
Admit
when I'm
traumatized.

Optimizing this
brewed
agression
in me -

- It's a new transgression
from my

normalcy.
2-26-22 1pm.
  Nov 2021 ardnaxela
labyrinth
To better protect your nest
Though hard, it’s not forbidden
Keep consulting with your past
Where all lessons are hidden
ardnaxela Nov 2021
My blessing came
in a designer gift wrap -
Karma.
The box made of Rejection.
filler sheets of many colors..
..Deceit
…Embarrassment
…..Betrayal
……Jealousy
layered on top
of some
crumpled shreds
of Self-doubt and Insecurity.

— had to tear through
some things to get
to the goods —

The best present I’ve ever gotten -
a whole new Heart;
with me forever to stay.
Solace in knowing
all the junk that came
before Her,
I get to throw away.
11-6-21
6:22 am

The greatest things come in the most unexpected packaging.
ardnaxela Sep 2021
saw my heart as the enemy
when really
every battle fought was
just to win yours back.
a true Trojan horse in fact
left my gates
wide open
oblivious to the silent attack.
liar. traitor. cheat. scoundrel.
ever since i met you
it's like you've waged a war
against my happiness.
that rosy patch once
reserved for you
now scorched brittle black.
Day 7. The healthiest way for me to release my anger will always be through ink.
ardnaxela Sep 2021
a new Beginning
unexpected yet welcome
this fresh sight of Love.
Day 1. What are you happy about these days?
Next page