Are you
the bowl
I pour
into
The contents of my heart
When it starts to
overflow ?
Are you
The switch
I flip to
Change the temp of
my emotions
from Hot to cold?
Are you
the siren
I sound
when
I love out
Loud or
When my
Chest implodes?
Are you the bomb
I dropped
That starts the fall
Or
The crash
Which makes it end?
In this case
I think
I am
the pen & you
the ink
of sadder stories
To be told.

Am I really
just fighting
for
my family
or
is there more
like
am I all
?
so
fighting for
the feeling
of having someone
to care
for me
**** it
I deserve it
I deserve it.

or
could it be
the fight was
Just
a façade
am I All
ready
?
falling
victim to the fear
of failure
?

living off
of apologies and time
spent in desperation
recollecting and reflecting
on where
all of the good vibes went
then
I may have smoked them.

underestimating my
control
of the situation
like I'm not
educated in protecting
my Peace
and healing my whole
mind, body
and Spirit

deflecting questions of
my integrity
all
because I prefer
complexity -
it takes me
three lefts
to make it right.

also some
times
I have to remind
myself
that it's okay
to cry
boiling hot emotions
got this little black kettle
singing high

currently
I'm choking
on the
hard pill
of a broken home
..heartache
worse than a broken bone
this is admitting to myself
that
I could be traumatized.
True.

I need a
get away
like Lenny says
quick break
with Mary, Garcia
and Vega
the only chance I ever get
to take flight.

in all Honesty
I am really
tired
of people
pushing me
and pulling me.
college drop-outs
they think
they schooling me
they are
tools to me.
Shorty,
swing my way
with that hammer
No
I'm not
driving for that *****.

some say real
Love is
Black
some say it's
blue..
I say it's both
you know
the winners
always leave with
a little
bruise .
or two . .
or3 . . .

there probably may come
a time of day
where
you have to choose
whether
to lose
yourself
in this matrix
or
to fight
by your own rules
and well

Here

is to you,
my Little Light
your presence is proof
that some
times
choosing
True
Love is
the right thing to do.

True

enough to
Admit
when I'm
traumatized.

Optimizing this
brewed
agression
in me -

- It's a new transgression
from my

normalcy.