It’s dry and still in the house this afternoon,
The way houses are at 4:00 in December.
I feel a little itchy and claustrophobic,
Sitting on the floor.
I hate this ******* carpet.
Berber.

I know you love me,
But sometimes I wish you would let me destroy myself completely.

Darkening winter gray settles over us in a dull film,
Berber carpeting the world.
It seeps into the house through cracks in the doorframe you kicked down when we were locked out that night.
Into me too, coating my brain and joints and dreams in liquid fog.
The streetlights will be dark awhile yet.

Cotton ***** fill up my mouth
And I’m fine, just fine.
My grandmother’s favorite color was gray before people awarded points for such things.

It’s nearly night, now, and the sky swirls with peek a boo pink and blue where the clouds are thin and blowing.
No streetlights yet.
The shadows gather at their feet.
I pull out the spaghetti;
Time to start dinner.

You, Oh Lord, are the light of the world
Come into the darkness of our ignorance and sin
Enter in and cast away the sky of perpetual gray
Let the light of your Son break through this day
Burn off the clouds of despair and gloom
Come and fill each dim and dusty room
The light hurts my eyes especially when I realize
How much I am a prisoner in a cell of my own design
And how much of it is no one's fault, but mine
And still, I see that this is only a part of me
Help me radiate the light that shines eternal
Grant a steady inner glow
So no matter where I go
People everywhere will know:
You are the Light that sets us free
You are the Light by which I see
Lord, You are the Light in me

Outside is Gray
Like my name
Lovely and broken
Misty and forgotten

Outside is Gray
Not spelled the same
Still hated in happiness
But loved in sorrow

You got this way about you
I can't figure out
All that I said remains true:
I want to see where life takes you

Your gentle hands, unspoken brush strokes—
Why mask your portrait in shades of gray?
Give yourself the same grace

Why is your worth a foreign concept?
You're the epitome of the green and gold

What can I do?
Certainly can't argue—
Just accept a—

simple truth:
you're the green and gold inside the gray

I used to be hues of yellow,
Green, blue, purple, and red.
With the sky as my soul
Feeling vibrant and bold
Like the stories I spun in my head.

A girl made of stars
Is bound to burn out
If her light can no longer be fed.
Learned the rules, learned the game,
Then I scrapped my old ways,
Sinking in water that I used to tread.

Your face was a charcoal portrait,
So I touched it to just see you smile.
But I smudged you all up and I’m covered in gray,
And the light, it retreats when I’m in the sun’s rays,
And I feel like the night everyone wishes was day—

But I take a deep breath.

And I find that old spark.

Just to realize that it never even went away.

i missed my calling
but not my window
ive lived to tolerate
innuendo
about my age
and my grays
and better days
but its okay
cuz my best days are
right now...

window still wide open
letting in and out
my flow...
champagne
and peaceful chaos
and sultry ****
alchemy
from all the years of
**** i know

Don't look at gray clouds for answers
Dull, blurry, nondescript
They cloud the mind
With mystery and uncertainty
Here today but gone tomorrow
Like a dream lover

He was in his cell
Twenty three hours a day
Never was he an animal
Yet treated as such

The echoes off the walls, bounce
The metal doors that clang, bang
Endless boredom after
All the books are read
He paces his eight feet

Gray dulls the senses
Lack of color, lack of life
He saw a bug inside
The other day, alive
Looking up at him
Another form of life, different,almost brand new
His voice filled with hope through the Pauses

It rained and the summer was hot
They were released for the hour
Choices that are made in that precious time
He went outside where there is only the cement
Laid on his back, spread his arms like an eagle, like an offering
Letting the rain Fall onto him,
just so He could feel Something