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Malia Jul 2023
I think
my dog must be smarter than me
he may chase his tail
(even though he has no tail)
he may sit in front of an open door
waiting for me to open it

but he’s happy

therefore, my dog’s clearly smarter than me
…except he has tons of anxiety…
Alex McQuate Jun 2023
Come to me,
Oh look and see,
Please tell me that I don't belong.

To this place,
O' to this world,
To this situation I hath rote.

But negative,
Nay I say,
Tis a situation so grand,
That it can be only sung out in the tongue of yore,
For it is only the most noble of mantles,
Of Fatherhood's door I adorn.

It shall be I,
I be armed with simple tools,
A fresh ***** or bottle,
To assuage my young liege lord's woes,
For betwixt the soggy ure or rancid scitan,
I dread knowing such knowledge,
But my sacred duties of ****** I shan't ignore.

So for now,
Oh humble bards and wanderers,
Listen to this tale no more,
Create such joy and celebration,
For upon this day,
My Firstborn son is born.
Threw a frickin' thesaurus at this one.
ummily May 2023
As we grow up,
we become less afraid
of being haunted
and more afraid
of being heart broken.
©
I heard a ghost in my house today,
I told it to go away.
I guess this
is growing up.
©
Michael Apr 2023
Mystery Meat

You'll find it sometimes
in what you eat.
What it is, you might ask?
It's Mystery Meat!
Smells kinda weird,
and looks just like ****.
I don't want a dollop.
No, not even a scoop.
I don't even want it in Mystery Soup.
What would Gordon Ramsay say?
Paul Butters Apr 2023
They’re really rockin’ in Bradford,
Off the Pennine Way.
Deep in the heart of Yorkshire
And all round Robin Hood’s Bay.
All over South Ossett
Down there to New Farnley.
Roast beef and Yorkie Puddings,
God’s County Yay!

Yull see ‘em rambling near Ilkley,
Right to the county line,
Sheffield steel and Wednesday –
A football team so fine.
Better still, Leeds United,
Greatest club of all time.

Yorkshire, Kings of Cricket,
Oh what a boon!
Get down that wicket,
We’ll be champs by June.
Down a ginnel or snicket,
See our Olympic Champs.
Coal Miner Picket,
Relight those lamps.

Racing pigeons and ferrets,
Stereotypes tha knows.
Over t’top in Lancashire,
Them there’s our foes.
We’re the greatest county,
Our pride really glows.
We know you all do hate us,
It keeps us on our toes.

So we’ll be rockin’ in Yorkshire,
What more can I say?
Us Tykes're as barmy as Barnsley,
So I’ll be on my way.

Paul Butters

(With due thanks to Chuck Berry and also The Beach Boys)
© PB 2\5\2016.  Slightly Amended 14\4\2023.
LOL
Carlo C Gomez Apr 2023
Today, my train of thought
Is a bit off track.
It's a dark and confusing smokestack.
You see, questions abound.
So buckle in as I go to town.

Which cider you on?
Apple or hard?
If a tree falls on a copier
And no one is around to see it,
Does it make a forest?
I'm rooting for yes; but quite unsure.

How many coins can a fountain hold?
I wish I knew.
Is Paul dead or the walrus?
Is Paul dead AND the walrus?
Coo coo ca choo.

What's the beef about red meat?
It fills but kills? It sells but fells?
Who knows!
The proof is in the pudding.
All other desserts are unsubstantiated,
I suppose.

If peanut butter leaves Los Angeles
Traveling east at 100 miles per hour,
And jelly leaves New York
Traveling west twice as fast,
Will they become a sandwich when they meet?
What a treat if they did.

Maybe one day these
Universal questions will be solved.
But for now, I'm quite dizzy
From all the lunacy involved.

Catch you later...
LeBobbe Apr 2023
My favorite thing about Yakult
Is that is spices up your tea
It gives my body a jolt
And energy for others to see

My mem'ry about having Yakult
Mixed blindly to the drink.
Is when my brother brought me milk tea shop,
From a place where gambling is in the brink.

A funny thing about my drink,
Is the connections I have with fellows.
They drink what they want,
And I drink what I want.

So the moral of this piece is,
people will like you if you drink
Tea with Yakult
(Not Sponsored)
I was drinking tea with Yakult when I wrote this
Andrew Mar 2023
I’m a chemical
substance
that’s been put
together
by a downward
spiral
of poor
genetics
Isaac Spencer Feb 2023
Kiss lips, hips twist-

Fingers fumble and miss,



Fist of hair, drum snare,

The crowd blares,



Fabric thin, trapped within,

Electric current, skin on skin,



**** tongue, come undone,

How it feels to chew Five® Gum.
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