In the crowded street,  
a stumble, a twist,  
my foot over the edge  
of a forgotten crack.  

Eyes blink, faces turn,  
laughter hides behind hands,  
and I, a moment caught  
in slow-motion fall.  

Heart racing like a drum,  
I gather my dignity,  
dust off my knees,  
and smile through the blush—  

a tiny trip in the dance of life,  
reminding me,  
we all wobble sometimes.

I suppose
to you
I've become
something of a joke
so pardon me
if my punchline is showing
avert your eyes.

Completed Jimmy Dean Breakfast

Sang to the tune of Micheal Jackson's original song Billy Jean-1983

Verse 1
With the milk poured-bowl of cereal, hash-browns and melted cheese
I said, "got coffee grinds, sugar and cream and a cinnamon bun-
a fried egg-on your toast golden brown.
Yea a cinnamon bun-with
a fried egg-on your toast golden brown."
Said "I just added sour cream, to the bagels with Philly cheese,
These pancakes almost burned, flip em' now-with a cinnamon bun,
a fried egg-on your toast golden brown."

Pre-chorus
Someone once told me, "be careful what you do,
Syrup goes terrible with salt... (Hee-hee)
And melted butter drippin' "be it food that's on the grill
And just add chives to as well, cold pizza's
Good breakfast to!"

Chorus
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
Bacon and Chorizo-just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...
I just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...

Verse 2
For forty danishes and for forty pies, granola on the side
Choice of sausage or oatmeal with jam? Pineapple and ham
And a fried egg-on your toast golden brown.
So next some cream of rice
Some croissants should do just fine
(Yea, real nice) Do just fine! (A-hoo!)
I asked could we have blueberry muffins (please?) lemon cakes with whipped cream
Maybe even Frittata's and strawberry's on the side, they should do just fine (Oh, oh)
With a fried egg-on your toast golden brown.

Pre-chorus
Someone once told me, "be careful what you do,
Syrup goes terrible with salt... (Hee-hee)
Whatever kind of pasta you eat
Huevos Rancheros with chili's
Beef hash and sauteed mushrooms
Even got egg omelette's too

Chorus
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
Bacon and Chorizo-just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
Bacon and Chorizo-just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...
Just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know-the Waffles are almost done...

(Break)
Woo! Woo!

Chorus
Just put the griddles on, uh
Ya' know the waffles are almost done
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
Bacon and chorizo-just put the Griddles on,
Ya' know the waffles are almost done
No-no-no, no-no-no-no
Just put the griddles on,
Ya' know the waffles are almost done

(Outro)
Just put the griddles on
Waffles will soon be done
Put the griddles on
Yeah, yeah, Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on,
yeah, Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on, uh
yeah, Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on, uh
yeah, Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on, uh
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill's on, uh
Jimmy Dean, Breakfast

Jimmy Dean, Breakfast Frill,
Bacon and Chorizo-an' just put the Griddles on,
Ya know-the Waffles are almost done...

I was at a funeral recently
A work colleague's father had passed away
It was a lovely ceremony
There was a lady in the choir who sang beautifully
All the lovely hymns
And then she did this wonderful rendition of 'Danny Boy'
Jeez! I could feel myself welling up
And I didn't even know the guy... the deceased
And then suddenly amidst all this sadness and celebration of his life
Suddenly this funny thought it just pops into my head
It says "Y'know when you die, at the funeral you should get the priest to do the reading
Of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead
A wonderful story
Lazarus's relatives come to Jesus and implore him to come and heal Lazarus who is sick
But by the time they get to his house they find he's been dead for a couple of days
But this news doesn't deter Jesus
He tells them to roll away the stone of the tomb
The tomb keepers protest"But he'll smell, he'll stink!"
But Jesus persists "Roll away the stone " he commands
So finally they agree and roll away the stone
Then Jesus cries "Come forth Lazarus, come out of the tomb"
If this was being read at my funeral
It'd creep out the whole congregation
When the priest would say "Come forth Lazarus, come out of the tomb"
They'd all start looking nervously over at the coffin
And maybe suddenly there'd be this sound of wood giving way
And then the coffin lid would slide off
And a hand would appear on the side of the coffin
And then I'd sit bolt upright in the coffin like a lovely little Count Dracula
I'd have a big smile on my face
And I'd say to them all
"Hi everybody, it's OK
I'm back for another round".

Verse 1
Hello toilet, my old friend
I've got to go now once again
I've been waiting for a great while
This time I'm going the ex-tra mile
With a force that few have ever known,
Sheer will alone,
I'm taking...the ****...enormous

Verse 2
In truth it feels more than I can take
I could pass out-and yes there's no mistake
That this straining-it is as such
Upon a mountain where lightning struck
Where I felt the challenge
May be well beyond my strength
What it might take
Attempting...the ****...enormous

Verse 3
And in the end I can now feel
This force of nature makes me reel
Pushing a boulder of such great size
Pushing a stone so big-one can't deny
Making a log-giving it your all-one may survive
Yes-in all my life
As this was...the ****...enormous

Verse 4
By my word-I feel-that this is it
Upon this toilet throne I sit
An overwhelming explosion from inside
With no place in my mind left to hide
As this was-unreal-yes, you can take my word,
The gigantic...****...enormous

Verse 5
And my goal it now seems in sight
I give it all with all my might
In a strange vision this very moment
As this an unreal bowel movement
And soon I feel:
Like the clear shaking in the earth
That as making n' breaking waves
I'm stunned and dazed
From taking...the ****...enormous