I trusted you
I believed that you had my back
thinking about it now
there was none of that

I was yours and one day
you left me
you lied
and you hurt me more
than I ever knew you could

I don't know why
and I don't care
because nothing could fix
the bond we shared

do you have any idea the amount of break up texts i have composed and written within the notes of my phone?
and i kept telling myself, that this time i would send it
yet i knew i was lying
over and over i spilled out the words
only to be unsent and deleted
maybe things need to be over with
if i'm pouring my heart out over break up words
instead of fixing things
because i know that you won't listen
i know that we are done for good
i know that things are unfixable

i can't
i can't admit it

It won't be long
until I'm somewhere beautiful,
green, serene,
with clouds hovering
in front of my eyes to hide
phospherous tears.
It won't be long
until my eyes fade,
clean, gleam,
with speckled fireworks
bursting like life
in the midnight
of my pupils.
It's not far,
it won't be long,
I can feel it on the horizon.
I can feel the spark, the life,
the igniting sense of betrayal
warming me,
making me new again.

Fix me, so I wouldn't lose.
Fix my brain so I would crave
For blessings that my mother chooses.

Hurt's not me, for giving up
Is same as letting sand and dust
Slip languidly through slender arms.

Fix me, since these poems do
Appear of lines without a rhyme.
Fix me so I knew who I am writing too.

frayed copper wires never to be bound
electricity is lost, connections unwound, and
where one end surges in power
the other cowers, weak in comparison
i watched their awful lives and wished
someone's expert hands could finish their plight
i attempted to fix it in the past but
other copper wires are so tightly woven!
and meanwhile, this little lightbulb
flickers meaninglessly.
why no one has smashed the wires
under their feet and then in a raging fire from fatigue i
dont know.

I want you to walk with me to somewhere
better than this, where the sky
won't be black as pain or tortured and blue.
You are adopting my heart
as you take it beyond the furthest reaches
of joy, to that place where your beauty
comes from. A land of music and freedom lives
within you and now I can see it.
I need you to hold me with those peaceful arms
cradling my weakened bones as you drape
your soul over mine to thaw it,
heal it, let its bruises fade. Keep me safe
when the blood stops flowing
and the tears stop burning
and all that is left is your fingers
brushing the tears from my cheek,
your concerned eyes on mine,
your tan skin glowing umber in the candlelight.
When your eyebrows fall
under the weight of my burden,
your sealed lips will trail
your dizzy thoughts across my mind,
words of beauty unspoken, heard.

Carpenter, carpenter
With hammer and nails
Fix all your problems
'Till something else fails
When something does
You're not to blame
It's the end of your youth
The end of this game
You've built what you needed
And fixed what you could
But this adult life
Isn't made of wood.