I needed to feel something real.
I had to confirm my existence.
So I walked barefoot in the cold.
This pain, never felt so good.

- Depersonalization

Between gaze and touch..
Between sleep and awake..
Between life and next..
Somewhere in between..
You always exist..

I love to think about you all the time.
You and I doing things we shouldn't be.
We're such rebels in my head you know?
Always acting wild and free.

People diss us and shake their heads,
While we walk on past.
Once we get away from them all,
Oh my.
People would be scared of our passion for each other.

Sometimes you bruise me,
But not on purpose.
It's just 'cuz we're having so much fun.
Being so wild and ****.

But then,
You act like you don't remember me.
And go on forever without seeing me.

What's sad is that I wake up everyday,
Always with you on my mind.
A daydream about you.
And I'm never in your daydreams once.

Because.... well,
You don't even know I exist.

we've been poisoned
with hopes and dreams
of "true love"

its hysterical
how naïve we are
we fell so hard
put ourselves on the line
for a poorly constructed ideology

you idiot
darling i'm such an idiot
to think there was good
in this world
to think there was a chance
that selfless love existed

ah, what a fool
to think marriage
was anything more
than a social norm
a convenience
that relationships
were actually based on anything
more than a false sense of
comfort and security

highschool kids
throwing away their future
bunch of immature children
tricked into thinking
that someone could make them whole
"let's get married"
"let's run away"
"we're in loooove"
we've poisoned our youth
love should be the last thing
on their mind

women giving up their dreams
men giving up their lives
for W H A T
the idea that
someone could keep them
from drowning
darling
oh darling
i wish that were true

but
w a k e u p

no one can save you
love is cursed.
we are cursed.

love,
in its own essence
does not exist
and i was such a fool
such a ****** fool
to think it lasts

i guess it just made me feel relaxed
to think that there was one part of my life
that could be just for me
i thought love was my escape
i'm holding up the world
i thought it would give me a break
rest my head
HAH
hysterical
i swear to God i'm in fits of laughter

believe in love?
ask the kid of messy divorce
ask the single mom with no idea where her baby daddy went
ask the girl with a broken heart
ask the boy who gives his all, in return for none

love
is
just
another
word
for
loss.

sorry to burst your bubble
but
your idea of "love"
**doesn't exist

I want to rip you apart
until you are merely fragments of human
ripped and vulnerable
then I could finally tell you
how I feel
about you
about us
about the way I strive for us to exist together
in this lonely universe.
I would glue you back
piece by piece
carefully and slowly
making sure you are still just as perfect
as you were before.
but I know that no matter what
you will be
you make my heart sing pure joy
just by the look you give to me
the sensation of your warm hands on my skin
nothing could make me feel more secure
even since the first time I saw you
my soul was awakened
I was given a purpose
to fall in love with you.
you don't love me though
and you never will.
I am nothing to you
just a foolish female
who will give you anything you desire
that is my own fault,
not yours
I have let myself lust for you
too many times
and now I am stuck
craving your presence and voice
your affection and promises
I know I am a sucker for you
and I am not sure
if I will ever not be

My very presence exists
Entirely with
Depression.
I
Can't seem to find
A cure to my emptiness.
The sense of hopelessness
Engulfs my whole body.

My attempts at seeking therapy were
Extremely inoportune and unconstructive.

I believe in loving deep and true
I belive that someone out there is fit and is destined to be with us one day
I belive in one love that is magical and true

And I wonder if that kind of love exist.
That kind that is genuine and deep.
That kind that entails forever.

I wonder if anyone could ever love that much.
If anyone could ever love someone so passionately.
That they'd be willing to risk what they have
For the benefit of another person.

Because if that kind of love exist
If its real and pure and golden from within

I want to have that kind of love
I want to be selfish for it,
embrace and grasp it
with all my heart

Then maybe smile and say
"Hey, what took you so long?"

All day long I live out of body.
Just seeing flashes of a life worth living.
I see a woman I don't recognize.
But my gosh she's worth loving.

When I see you undress,
I could swear it's the first time.
When you kiss me goodbye that feeling in my chest,
knows you'll be right back.
The things we share are far beyond the physical.
We live together at the opposite end of superficial.

I spend my whole day searching for you with the scent you left on my collar.
Knowing you'll be back is never enough I need you now.
I thought I found you once.
But it was the wrong face right name.
Why does my life feel like someone elses game?

Will I ever find you when I bridge two planes.
I could exist on another plane entirely.
The way I look at you like your out of this world.