I have rituals
for the first day of class
like a superstitious athlete
they get me into a good frame of mind
where I feel like a juggernaut who has total agency
and doesn’t need to seek validation
It’s a moment in time

I have all my books—stacked on my desk
they look serious—very nuts and bolts
I’ve beaten the syllabuses to death
to try to figure out where my power lies
learning is all energy, it’s a marathon
it’s hard to sustain that for the entire semester
so not switching off, now and then, is unrealistic

Still, I’m comfy in in a classroom (I’m a senior)
Good students are just a little weird.
I say hello to the moon so she won’t feel alone
I say ‘cheers,” before taking a shot of mouthwash.
If I lose my ID, my lucky pencil or something, I call out, “treasure hunt!”
When treating everyone to grubHub I ask, ‘the usual?’ When we’re done I ask, ‘how was everything this evening?’
If I see a random girl looking fabulous, I tell her, because if I get complimented, I think about it for a week.
.
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A song for this:
Thetan by Single Gun Theory

sator
i am still here—
the eternal spark, the constant presence
amidst the whirlwind of thoughts and dreams.
i manifest success, forging my destiny
brick by brick with every cosmic “yes.”

arepo
in the mirror of raw ego and honest reflection,
i transmute every reeking flaw into fragrant power.
from the ashes of past mistakes
i sculpt myself—a masterpiece of perseverance,
refined like the best soaps, emerging renewed.

tenet
i hold fast to my celestial blueprint,
a generator with a capricorn flame,
a leo moon roaring for its rightful spotlight,
each heartbeat an invocation of divine order,
each breath a promise to the stars.

opera
in the theater of creation, i am both director and actor—
my life a symphony of passion and precision.
with every action, every well-earned victory,
i spin the wheel of destiny,
turning obstacles into stepping stones
that lead to realms of boundless light.

rotas
and as the cosmic cycle revolves,
i embrace the sator square’s eternal secret:
what is sown in the heart returns in glory.
i manifest success with every radiant step,
every choice a spiral that brings me closer
to the infinite horizon of my dreams.

i stand as a living constellation,
an alchemist of fate and fervor,
a poet of the universe—
and in this sacred square,
i claim my success,
now and forever.

I am the sum of stars and design,
A Generator in cosmic flow—
Waiting, always waiting to respond
To the universe’s subtle “yes.”

Capricorn sun burns in my chest,
A furnace of duty and ambition,
Forging dreams with meticulous might—
Every moment a brick in my empire of light.

Virgo rising, quiet and precise,
Crafts my path with order and care,
Each detail a whisper of destiny,
A careful dance on the edge of chaos.

My Leo Moon roars with inner fire,
A constant call for warmth and applause—
In every gaze, a longing for the spotlight,
Yet I remain the calm at the storm’s eye.

Venus in Sagittarius sends me on wild quests,
Where freedom and passion entwine in laughter,
Love is an adventure, an open road—
A journey where every scar tells a story.

Mars in Capricorn drives my relentless pace,
A warrior armed with discipline and resolve,
Turning obstacles into stepping stones,
Each challenge a testament to my truth.

Jupiter in Virgo blesses my work,
Not with random luck, but with earned grace—
Every detail polished in the crucible of effort,
Every success a quiet, triumphant sigh.

In my Human Design, the Sacral speaks
With an unwavering gut feeling—
A truth too visceral to be denied,
Guiding me with its pulsating rhythm.

Profile 4/6 whispers of connection and evolution,
From youthful sparks to the wisdom of the crown—
Each phase a masterpiece of becoming,
Each step a stride toward cosmic perfection.

I dwell in my own sacred cave,
Where the tactile world meets inner space,
Grounded in the touch of life’s raw beauty,
While dreams take flight on wings of stardust.

I, Andy Denson—a living constellation,
A mosaic of charts and celestial codes,
Every line a verse, every placement a chorus,
In the symphony of an endless cosmic poem.

And as I breathe in the infinite night,
I stand, a masterpiece of celestial blueprint,
Inviting the world to witness my evolution,
One stellar, deliberate, radiant step at a time.

Culture runs backwards:
strength is weakness,
soft is
empowerment-
dissuade yourself from
this rampant mindset
we've placed upon thrones,
instead find reserve to manifest
and bask in
this well of fluidity
that masculinity
can never hone

Heavy lies the crown,
it is hard
be free with the wind
like a fallen leaf
and you will catch
a safe ride home
from Mother Earth herself-
even though her tread
is unsteady,
she flows

Only when you are
certain
that there is
nowhere to be
except where you are,
will you find exemption
from the urge to shape
or control

The gut
is a compass,
let it guide you to
novelty,
and what lies beneath
the surface: that is where
adventure begins,
it takes one big leap
but you will let go
until there is nothing
left to rescind

The tightness in my chest
conveys that I need to disconnect
sit alone,
on a remote landscape,
hoping the sound of rustling leaves
will sync with these shakes
and ease my deathless torment

As some quiet finally sets in,
introspection begins to surface
and it gets me wondering if
these thoughts of mine
intertwine with the pain that I keep
to manifest a life of anger
and delusion
draping me in shades of guilt,
forever climbing up this hill

Closing my eyes paved the way
for understanding unrivaled:
an ineffable cause
to sit with nothingness,
I spilled into a void
and suddenly
stopped drowning in sadness,
finding humor in the unknown
when a feminine hand reached out
with love,
telling me to let go
and she shared with me
everything I wanted to know;

“There is no path to save yourself,
only transcendence:
answers can be begged for
but until you let go of precedence
and learn to listen for each breath
the tightness will never settle
within your chest”

I am consumed by
negative spaces,
floating in between
death and the void,
looking for reason
that won't come
and there is no use
in running from darkness
when it's what brought us
here at birth
and the only thing
we part with in the dirt

If the way out is through,
why do they stay and
mock the despair
behind my eyelids?
They laugh as I search for
purpose that doesn't exist
in lieu of aliens that
I swear are real,
when reality has always been
my Achilles heel

It's a dance of avoiding gravity
until inevitability strikes
a heavy blow, that life is
random circumstance
siphoning into black holes,
a collection of moments
that we will forget to remember,
but how does one find peace
without answers?

Daylight starts peeking in
to see if I'm okay,
I disguise the sentiment
as irrelevant
when I could really use a break
from this carousel of fear
that only
wants me to want more
as if I am owed a life
that is somehow past due,
checked out by someone
who was less afraid
to step outside of their room

Sunlight omits
more concern over
reckless abandonment
as it greets my pacing force,
but there is no stopping
what was designed
without brakes,
carried by all the love and hate
that glorifies impulse to
sift through emptiness:
a sacrifice to this
blank screen
that consumes me with dread
over a deathless dream
stuck inside my head

Sink into the void I’ve found
that appears as pointless
and you’ll find
a requite of safety,
steady your breathing

Vacate needless self-help,
not all flaws
require examination
it is sensible to be empty,
steady your breathing

When trauma is
held onto as a lifeline
we cling to that identity,
halting time in its tracks
helplessly watching
as our essence begins to rot
in a cell that is
only condemning,
steady your breathing

Find comfort
through experience,
seek out the
universal center
and its unaffected
infinity,
steady your breathing

Nature has a heartbeat
we can synchronize with
by accepting her
relentless mortality,
steady your breathing

Death is inevitable,
a beautiful mess
it is the enemy yet
also a friend
depression is the cause,
sufferance is the effect
and reminders of
transience
are the master of anxiety,
steady your breathing

There is immortal freedom
hidden outside of
tunnel vision
compelling us with a
symphonic tune
to cherish being alive
and find adventure in the next-
to sing along with this chorus of
left and right /
beginning and end,
where it then gives way
to a verse
of chaos and symmetry /
repent and forgiving,
steady your breathing

Sounds perfecting
the mirage
stuck in our peripheral
of duality in tonal form,
so we can understand
that true wealth
is noticing the difference
between what we believe
and what is reality,
steady your breathing

What if all the chemicals
and screens
disappeared from the earth,
would you crawl
out of your skin
or rise to the task?
It is said that there is no cure
because answers
thrive only in silence
when one learns how to ask

Instead we accelerate
to consume noise
through wild fields of dopamine,
clawing with no poise:
we exploit weakness
for personal gain
until sincerity bleeds
from the picture
and there’s no room left in frame
for an honest work of art
because we’d rather
exhaust the canvas
with moments devoid of heart

Humility is a difficult lesson
most live in reverie
as hollow, floating silhouettes
desperate to equate value
with material progress
until one of two options remain:
convene with the
shaking breaths
or envision a hapless fate

Darkness, it looms
pleading to steer our
attention
to do nothing and sit with grace,
showing a natural way
to create harmony
while sifting through
time and space,
yet we continue to
sit upon ivory towers
ignoring balance
that only succeeds
with the fusion of light,
because in darkness
is the beginning of all life