The tightness in my chest
conveys that I need to disconnect
sit alone,
on a remote landscape,
hoping the sound of rustling leaves
will sync with these shakes
and ease my deathless torment

As some quiet finally sets in,
introspection begins to surface
and it gets me wondering if
these thoughts of mine
intertwine with the pain that I keep
to manifest a life of anger
and delusion
draping me in shades of guilt,
forever climbing up this hill

Closing my eyes paved the way
for understanding unrivaled:
an ineffable cause
to sit with nothingness,
I spilled into a void
and suddenly
stopped drowning in sadness,
finding humor in the unknown
when a feminine hand reached out
with love,
telling me to let go
and she shared with me
everything I wanted to know;

“There is no path to save yourself,
only transcendence:
answers can be begged for
but until you let go of precedence
and learn to listen for each breath
the tightness will never settle
within your chest”

I am consumed by
negative spaces,
floating in between
death and the void,
looking for reason
that won't come
and there is no use
in running from darkness
when it's what brought us
here at birth
and the only thing
we part with in the dirt

If the way out is through,
why do they stay and
mock the despair
behind my eyelids?
They laugh as I search
for purpose that doesn't exist
in lieu of aliens that
I swear are real,
when reality has always been
my achilles heel

It's a dance of avoiding gravity
until inevitability strikes
a heavy blow
that life is
random circumstance
siphoning into black holes,
a collection of moments
that we will
forget to remember,
but how does one find peace
without answers?

Daylight starts peeking in
to see if I'm okay,
I disguise the sentiment
as irrelevant
when I could really use a break
from this carousel of fear
that only
wants me to want more
as if I am owed a life
that is somehow past due,
checked out by someone
who was less afraid
to step outside of their room

Sunlight omits
more concern over
reckless abandonment
as it greets my pacing force,
but there is no stopping
what was designed
without brakes,
carried by all the love and hate
that glorifies impulse to
sift through emptiness-
a sacrifice to this
blank screen
that consumes me with dread
over a deathless dream
stuck inside my head

Sink into the void I’ve found
that appears as pointless
and you’ll find
a requite of safety,
steady your breathing

Vacate needless self-help,
not all flaws
require examination
it is sensible to be empty,
steady your breathing

When trauma is
held onto as a lifeline
we cling to that identity,
halting time in its tracks
helplessly watching
as our essence begins to rot
in a cell that is
only condemning,
steady your breathing

Find comfort
through experience,
seek out the
universal center
and its unaffected
infinity,
steady your breathing

Nature has a heartbeat
we can synchronize with
by accepting her
relentless mortality,
steady your breathing

Death is inevitable,
a beautiful mess
it is the enemy yet
also a friend
depression is the cause,
sufferance is the effect
and reminders of
transience
are the master of anxiety,
steady your breathing

There is immortal freedom
hidden outside of
tunnel vision
compelling us with a
symphonic tune
to cherish being alive
and find adventure in the next-
to sing along with this chorus of
left and right /
beginning and end,
where it then gives way
to a verse
of chaos and symmetry /
repent and forgiving,
steady your breathing

Sounds perfecting
the mirage
stuck in our peripheral
of duality in tonal form,
so we can understand
that true wealth
is noticing the difference
between what we believe
and what is reality,
steady your breathing

What if all the chemicals
and screens
disappeared from the earth,
would you crawl
out of your skin
or rise to the task?
it is said that there is no cure
because answers
thrive only in silence
when one learns how to ask

Instead we accelerate
to consume noise
through wild fields of dopamine,
clawing with no poise-
we exploit weakness
for personal gain
until sincerity bleeds
from the picture
and there’s no room left in frame
for an honest work of art
because we’d rather
exhaust the canvas
with moments devoid of heart

Humility is a difficult lesson
most live in reverie
as hollow, floating silhouettes
desperate to equate value
with material progress
until one of two options remain:
convene with the
shaking breaths
or envision a hapless fate

Darkness, it looms
pleading to steer our
attention
to do nothing and sit with grace,
showing a natural way
to create harmony
while sifting through
time and space,
yet we continue to
sit upon ivory towers
ignoring balance
that only succeeds
with the fusion of light,
because in darkness
is the beginning of all life

No more Monsters,
Sorry RedBull but you lost my brand loyalty.
I will no longer be drinking tartine,
All this caffeine makes me forget,
It causes problems with my life and love.
So I'll save my pennies,
To afford a moment of clarity.

I've been wasting energy in various ways.
Especially in certain thought patterns and internal fights in my mind.

i'm a light machine gun.....
locked up and loaded in rounds......
firing all kinetic energy and reason..........
across the trenches and the fields i've sent..........
pistols, shotguns, autos to their knees.........
but as i unlock and reload and cool down..........
and the panicked silence settles in.........
i have to ask in kind......

s n i p e r..

do i have your eye?