heyy, old friend
could you invest your time in me, please?
i'm little short on it
you probably won't get it back
'cause i will forget
but you doesn't need to know that, right?
...
/M.A./

It feels like forever when I don't see you.
When I don't see the smile you bring and the endless waves that remain around you through thick and thin.
Your hand feels warm in mine and I try to make something out of it,
but it takes a while
and it takes a lifetime before the words that were left unsaid actually leave my mouth;
for the first time, I don't trust what I'm saying.
It's all nonsense like the way I thought we were,
and nonsense like the thing we are right now
But I realize
we.
are.
nothing.
as in we are nothing together,
but everything apart,
and the everything won't make it to the endless waves because what.
we.
were.
ended.
I guess your endless waves didn't match up with the end of my tide
and just like that you became and I didn't and
I'm still trying to comprehend the endlessness that you left and the nothing I have.
When I see you it's like the smile that was on you first comes to me through thick and thin
and the force of the waves isn't enough to push me into the nothing I have and make something with the things I still haven't said
And when your hand touches mine for the first time since you became endless, I smile with the things I have yet to say and the nothingness that I have
and I miss it
but, how can I miss something that was nothing ?

The sound of a distant highway
a constant noise, but never the same
much like my thoughts, an endless stream
during the day and well into my dream
The only respite, during the last hours of the night
no longer the burden to carry

Until the next day

Wake me up,
I’m in a dream that I never want to escape,
Yet I fear,
Any longer I spend with you,
I may trip and fall for you,
Put my heart on the line,
Flick a dime,
Wishing it will land on heads because I’m heads over heels for you,
See?
My words fumble,
My writing falls,
I do not understand,
Why I must be living in this dream,
When
          it
            will
                      E
                           N
                                 D

I Recall… by Jessie 10/06

Recall the day from whence you came
When endless days were not the same
Take hold and care
Do not let go
For I recall

Black and white and hues of gray
Recount the dullard of the days
Eyes reflect of empty stares
Untouched, remote
As I recall

Both corners of the mouth
Turned, neither north nor south
All affect was lost, cast into the night
Twas but the shadows, which changed the face
As I recall

Turtle days, creeping by
If only I, knew how to cry
Swallow hard
Choke it down
Yes! I recall

Then, sun lit rays seeping in
Stained the room, and cleansed the sins
Melted heart and heightened senses
Colors now abound
As I recall

Tranquil peace, this stranger’s name
Known by more, but all the same
Intervening, locking heads
Saved me from my tortured cell
As I recall

Nothing could
compare to
her love
for her
love was endless

For some reason
our "happily ever after"
tends
to replay our
first encounter
over and
over   ........ and over....
                      over......and over....
                                                   .... over.....

i am
legally blind
blind like the blindness of love
when you're driving in the summer,
windows down,
breathlessly scream-singing
the warm air almost stinging
and him
sitting next to you
his smile so bright it
blinds you to reality
and he puts his hand on your thigh
and you don't think about
the germs
or any logistics
you're just
thinking about him
and what you could be
and you don't want the summer to end
but you always remember
that it always
has to end

and you're blind in that car
unable to see the future
the end
anything but him
and the road
racing towards you and then
flying away
and the trees
chasing your car
without slowing
or stopping
and you're blind about the past
ignoring everything telling you
this won't work out either
because it's gone
puffing out the exhaust pipe
draining like the antifreeze leak
you've never bothered to fix

i am legally blind
i can't always see everything
and i realize that
but
when i'm with him
i can see everything
so clearly
i forget to remember
i can't even
see

Hellfire do not go out!
Please just stay as you are
Once in the flames I wander through an answerless world
All the embers burning all the people are turning, trying to get away..
Hellfire do not go out!
Please just stay as you are
No matter how much they walk, no matter how far...
In the end they are consumed by these merciless flames
Burnt away, until not even their names,
Are remembered here, in this world full of shames
As the fire burns I ask myself wether this is a nightmare or not
And as it consumes my very soul and makes me then rot
I begin to then understand my very purpose, my destiny
Just being fuel for that fire to burn is what was planned for me
Oh Hellfire, will you go out ?
No, once you are about to go out, you just keep roaring loud
Come back hotter, more painful than I can take
My body is burning up, I think my mind is going to break
And as this torture goes on
I wished I would be gone

~ Umi