you say your hands are cold,that you forgot your gloves
i look down at my hands
i take my only pair off and give them to you
i feel the cold air on my bare hands
i tell myself its not too bad and you'll give them back if i need them
hours go by
you still have my gloves
the muscles in my fingers become ridged from the cold
but i love to see you warm so i don't ask for them back
another hour goes by
you still have my gloves
i cant feel or move my fingers now
the tips are starting to burn...
i know this is the start of frost bite
but i don't want to take the warmth from you so i wait a little longer to ask you for them back
i finally gather the courage to approach you ...
under my breath, i ask if i can borrow them for a bit?
just to get the blood back in my veins?
you stare at me for what seems like forever...then you start to laugh
you say: i'm fine
you say: i don't really need them
you say: i'm dramatic
i say, i feel numb
i say: i just need them for a little bit
you say: i'm selfish
you say: i don't love you....that i want you to be cold like i am
you say: i'm a coward and say that instead of asking you
i should just learn to deal with it
i stood there not knowing what to say ... maybe you right?
so i decide to bare it , i bare it while my hands start to sting
i watch you with our friends as i sit on the side-lines
the love i have for you is the only warmth left in my body
i look down and my hands are turning blue now
i cant let me do this to myself
i realize i need to find help ...but that means i have to leave you
i never want to leave you
but you refuse to go with
after much consideration, i do what is best for no one else but me
i leave..
i leave while you still hold a bit of me
leaving was one of the hardest decisions i have ever made
This is my 2018. Interpret this however you want. To me this is a metaphor for my year. I gave alot of myself to people,to the point were my mental and physical health got really bad. Unfortunately the people I thought would be there, left me.
