And in the early mornings
that I kept all for myself,
jealously holding them hidden
in the back of my mind,
I found myself,
the woman in me.
The serenity of the village
that's just started to wake up,
still sleepy.
And nobody saw me
dancing naked and barefoot
without any music,
nobody saw me smiling
or writing a new poem,
it was all my little secret,
the little life i lived
when I needed to find my strength again.
Nobody saw the moments
I felt the most alive,
nobody saw my soul rising above
the whole world,
singing to itself,
being free.

Be kind to yourself,
as you are with others

You have these
grand expectations
of yourself
and at times,
those around you

It's good to have goals
and a hunger for
betterment,
but you must also be
vigilant
to keep them realistic

Because, while you are indeed
fierce & strong-willed,
you are also soft
& at times
fragile

You are human.

But that doesn't mean
you are without
superpowers

Your sensitivity is your greatest gift,
but without care,
can also be your greatest
downfall

You must learn to master your craft.

This means to be
patient with yourself
as you would with others,
to show compassion
as you would with others,
to show love,
grace,
& humility,
to yourself

This in practice,
is to truly understand,
& epitomise,
that self-care
is not
selfish

That it is okay to say no,
or to ask for help,
or to be truly
vulnerable

To acknowledge
that fear is
the root cause
of bitterness
& resentment

To embrace the lows,
for making the highs even
sweeter

To let the good wash
over you
the same as
the bad,
& embrace the micro changes,
as the meta
stays the same

To believe you are worthy,
of a great love,
the same as you believe
another's
worthy of
yours

To embody the idiom
that one can
only
truly love another,
after
they learn to love
themself,
& thus allowing
the hard-earned
victory
of grounded, stable
communion

To know the difference between
support
& advice,
love
& lust,
friendships
& partnerships

To have
faith
that you will find your way,
because you will;
because you live your life
with generosity
& authenticity

This is my vision for you,
that you will
make this your reality.

The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease,
The stronger wind, the stronger trees,
The further sky, the greater length,
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.

When will you learn

That I am not a toy

I am not here for your entertainment

I do not exist for you

I exist for me

I don't dress for you

I dress for me

I don't need your approval

I don't need your permission

I want to be free

Not trapped in a cage like a bird

Singing a song of misery

I want to spread my wings and fly

I don't want you

I want me

And that's what I'll have.

the difference between 2017 and 2018 is

in 2017 i met you
in 2017 i fell in love with you
and in 2017 i lost you
and in 2017 i must leave you

in 2018 i no longer have but a memory of you
in 2018 i have myself and layers of trauma i'm not too sure me and my friends are ready to deal with yet

in 2017, you were You
in 2018 you are now Him

he does not deserve the privilege of You if He didn't recognise the privilege he had when he had Me.

I wear this face like armor
Painting it with the blood, sweat, and tears
Of those who dare to come after me
These colors are not a mating call
But a warning
They distract
They scream
"My touch is toxic"
"My taste is like poison"
I am not the beautiful flower
I am the stinging bee
This war paint is not for you
It is for me