“Remember our cigarettes & the oil rigs. City lights, and drunken nights.
Remember the scabbed lips and 1:00am road trips. Races and white long sleeves.  Christmas Eve burn outs, empty parking lot makouts. Piggy back rides, and best friends forever. Remember the kissing and love making. Shirtless & in love, punches in the face, followed with forgiveness. Unfairness and regret. How I see you and seem not to forget.“

The smile you give me hurts my soul
Because as much as I want to smile with you, I know how this story goes...

From a smile to a scowl,
It's the same, every game,
So that's why I throw the towel,
I don't like to waste my shame,
It's okay, but don't you dare,
I don't get why do you care,
It's a curse I cannot lift,
I just wish not to exist,
But I do, so I accept,
It's all I really have kept,

So you see, the mystery has had its story lit to see, I'm often alone, and misery, don't waste that light on someone like me...

I fell in love
With the
Kind part
Of you,

The one
That would make sure everyone
Was Okay,
Even though you were not,


I fell in love
With the
Brave side
Of you,

The one
That did things,
Without a care in the world;
About what others thought of you.

I fell in love
With the
Loyalty piece
Of you,

The one
That stood up,
For the people you love the most,
Even though you were the one who needed someone to stand up for you,

You did
All of that,
Without knowing what others thought of you,
And you chose,

And you chose
To let it go,
To let it fade,
A piece buried.

I used to love
The broken soul
You once had,
Because you were kind, brave, and full of loyalty.

Now it’s faded,
And you don’t care,
You thought someone was not out there for you,
But I am... I was,

Until you let it fade,
Until you chose to go;
In your place is someone
That I don’t know.

I fell out of love
With the
Dishonest
Side of you,

The one
That lied
About anything
To friends and teachers.

I fell out of love
With the
Lazy
Part of you,

The one
That didn’t care
For the dreams
You once had.

I fell out of love
With the
Rude
Piece of you,

The one,
Who talks
Over someone
Telling an awesome story.

I don’t know anymore
Whether I love you or not,
But I do know that the person
You once were is faded and is never coming back.

You may have lost your soulmate,
I may have been her,
But I don’t care,
You lost your chance,

Now you are
Someone I don’t know; Don’t love
You were
Someone I used to know; Used to love

Nothin I do but sit here and stare
Contemplatin all of my fears
I miss my grandpa in unimaginable ways
Fearin how he would respond to my ways
I sit here and stare at your gaze
I wish I knew how many days
We’re left so I knew my fate
And I wouldn’t be late
I’m sorry for all the apologizing
Ima hypocrite but I won’t admit it
I hate people who lie to themselves
But still can’t find myself
For all the times my moms been hit
And I didn’t do nothin
Wishin one of these days I’d get my wish
I think the lamps is broken
I’m a ******* and I know it
But I’m not gonna change
And as long as I say I’m not a hypocrite
Then I’m not right?
Wrong
**** this song
**** all the things Thas wrong
My life ain worse but it’s never been good
I guess that’s why I’m misunderstood
The stars the only ones that help
To bad the future covers them up
It’s been a long time since I seen her smile
And I bet she better off without
I drove her away what a surprise
To many things keep me up at night
I wonder when my brother will pop his last
Yesterday it was ketmanine
Today it’s sum xans
The bloods mixed with the alcohol
I wonder if it’ll be my downfall
Only time I feel sane and escape
Is when my lighter shows it’s flame
And I purchase a one way ticket
Across the nation
For 10 dollars I have my cheap vacation
Nothin lasts as long as you want
Hopefully in two years this gon stop
Hopefully this poem will end
And I won’t relive it to the end
I don’t wish for my own death
Just to go to sleep and not wake up
Cause maybe some peace will come
I drove her to drugs and I know it
I left her but I couldn’t help it
She was to blame
I was to blame
We both know it
Moms moved on
Sobriety seems to be helpin
But she always relapses over somethin
The coke stains still on the mirror
“Do as I say not as I do”
“Do as I say not as I do”
“Do as I say not as I do”
How many times till I’ll move on
I wish I could write songs
And be like all those that help me
But I’m not that lucky
I’m not that lucky
I’m not that lucky
Hopefully I’ll live to be happy
Hopefully I’ll have a family
So I don’t ruin it
And have somethin to live for
To all those that worry
I’m not contemplating
If I was it’d be to late already
I wanna drink so I’ll tell myself the truth
It is what it is
My thoughts carried in soot
Carried till I kick the boot
I wish I was a doctor so I coulda save ya
No shame in the ones that’s broken
I miss my bestfriend but she’s better off
My girl don’t know half of my problems
I called god hopin he’d pick up
I’ve sent him the messeges
Maybe there stuck
In transit I sit in traffic
My mind sifts the past tense
What memory will haunt me today
The interrupted last phone call
The one where my sister was off k
How bout one from the other day
I popped it only cause I wanted
“Sigh” i don’t know
Settlement?
What do you do when everybody’s trippin
Stay sober and wait for them to finish
No, get high and forget your problems
Don’t ever admit them
Just forget it
member them times I told you I loved you
Just forget it
Where he at, did he forget it?
A call every two weeks don’t do it
A call every two weeks don’t do it
A call every two weeks don’t do it
Don’t ask how I’m doin
If you cared you would remember
These memory’s stick forever
You were lucky to be drunk
I can’t forget it
I can’t forget it
I won’t forget it.

That day quarantine started
We were supposed to meet

Instead it’s been a month
Since we’ve seen each other again

The question is...
Do you care?

I’m most comfortable at night
as the sun sets in a beautiful watercolor
darkness F
                  A
                    L
                      L
                        S     on me
Is it supposed to be soothing? It is to me
Rain comes and everything’s just as it should be
Too long in the dark makes one comfortable there
Don’t let your eyes adjust to the dark
Don’t get cozy in the pit
The sun’s coming up tomorrow
It's too early to quit

Baby, i can see my whole life in your eyes..

you keep on coming back to her
to convince yourself that
you still feel,
you still hurt,
you still love,
that everything could still work out

but that's not love
if you're the only who's still holding
don't hang on to that