I hate how my voice gets when I speak to strangers so I prefer to stay as quiet as possible

I'm so glad you called me out of the blue today it's felt so long since I've been comfortable

enough to speak without thinking too far ahead.

Peaceful mornings more vivid to picture than yesterday;

This time last year--stuck holding on to hope without reason,
Sipping leftover champagne walking you to the bustop

And gone you went just as that version of you is gone still

And it is beyond debate that I'm in a better place now.

and, gone it does
all it was
destined
designed
determined
de
deedly deed of doing being
boring
being
de
determined to add means to ends
designed to signal turn or lose
destined to end,
all it was gone to be

These are the
darker days
Highlights have turned
into grays
Teardrops stain my
pillowcase
Maybe I'm not
thinking straight

But I dont want to be here
My mind is digging deeper
This pit is inescapable
I'm falling down an endless hole.

This tea
Tastes like memories
All I want to feel
Is someone's eyelashes
Beating against my skin
The sense of skin on felt
On soft, slippery silk
On icy velvet
What if their mouth tastes like cinnamon
Will their tears
Be pearls of salt on my cheeks
And will they bite me

Do, rest, be, be, be.

monday: putting ***** plates aside
tuesday: ignoring the ***** plates
wednesday: being bothered by the ***** plates
thursday: intending to do the dishes
friday: forgetting to do the dishes
saturday late afternoon: meeting a woman in a pub who tells daddy that she has a dirt allergy
saturday evening: arduously scrapping off fatty chunks from the dishes, groaning about such a hard kind of labor and thinking about easier ways of cleaning ***** plates.

from saturday night until sunday morning: making love to the woman from the pub; putting ***** plates...