have his tired eyes,
weary sighs
and silent cries
still not made you realize
that he's tired of your lies?
he knows you'll never love him, no matter how hard he tries.
darling, you are leading him to his demise.
and yet, it is you, only you, whom he will never despise.

*how much will he take
before he breaks?

Nothing's worse than this stupid self hate
Meaningless self harm brings no tears to my eyes
The only one who could hurt me was you
You hurt me soon enough, which was no surprise

You enter
      Riding on a soundtrack of rising blood pressure and self defeat
       Every conversation kills itself at the sight of you;
     A *joke not quite worth telling, that no one would laugh at anyway
          Every eye stops to stare at you
        *An aging car crash of a human
Wrecked and painted in dried blood
     Seducing onlookers with a rinky-**** smile
     Missing the convenient yellow caution tape that tells you life stops here
          
       You complain to fill the spaces left by your depleting self worth
  That wasn't much there in the first place
In the mirror you see dirt
    And you can't wash it away, no matter how hard you try
Cause you're ****** in all the wrong ways
Up until you die

     Unintelligently designed
Your stupidity is almost genius
       You blame others for mishaps that you have gained
                            Your sickness a silent auction
                       Anyone could have caught it
       Infectious Anonymous
Attended every week
      And yet you're still so pathetic
you don't accept you're a disease worse than any flare up that could take hold
        You don't know how to recognize the facts that you've been told

       You complain to fill the spaces left by your depleting self worth
  That wasn't much there in the first place
In the mirror you see dirt
    And you can't wash it away, no matter how hard you try
*Cause you're ****** in all the wrong ways
Up until you die

A small kindness can’t sustain
A screaming, starving child.
One step at a time
Won’t bridge the distance
Between salvation and despair.

I click that button.
I like that you are running to beat cancer,
But you won’t.

The world boils and burns.
I won’t share anymore,
Because I don’t care anymore.

Everyday around quarter past three,
you burst into the bathroom searching for me,
I get hidden by your mother while you are away,
hidden, unused for most of the day,
I feel your anger as your hand grips me tight,
I'm the one & only thing that helps you sleep at night,
I live to put scars upon your wrist,
I leave my mark I'm proud of this,
I watch as the beautiful red blood pattern drips,
and runs off the ends of your fingertips,
what possesses humans to act like this,
to scream, cry & cut their wrists,
but for now my job is clear
the reason that I was brought here
to relieve the pain
to sit by the window and watch the rain,
up until around quarter past three
when you burst into the bathroom searching for me...

when you run your fingers
along the lengths of mine
like that,
you always
almost
have me a fool for you
but no.
because it's already happened
that you looked at me
with so much attentiveness
in your eyes,
so much intent
in your gestures
actions,
i believed you were listening
but you weren't.
you were simply just looking
looking at
"something too good for me," you said
i have never wanted
you to be one of the likes
i despise most in this world
the selfish.
but it was then that
i've come to the conclusion;
selfishness is because
of sometimes beautiful
and reasons worth being selfish over,
sometimes not.
i know this because i decided
to be selfish myself
and not to tell you
to act on your feelings
for i was scared
and i allowed myself to be selfish
on account of that fear,
keeping my love for you to myself.

Through the haze of an endless sleep.
There exists a girl who I'd like to meet.
She sings with the animals about love and I.
A body that I feel in my drug induced high.

Across the endless space she exists.
A girl who is sleeping and desires my kiss.
I feel her allure and am drawn to her smell.
A forgotten face she wears to compel.

I see her in the eyes of my plastic plaything
Frozen in place, she lives to complete me.
My desire undying and heart now content.
That she could ever love someone in so much torment.

Enduring and withstanding together in this vision.
We dance at a ball, she hums to the rythm.
A love that is born from desperation and pain.
I am trapped and entranced by her again and again.

All those in my life who rejected me now.
They don't matter as I make a vow
I will take my love trapped in a tower.
Other people are just grass compared to her, a flower.

The only way I can sleep forever.
To finish and win in life, I could whenever.
I stand on a bridge and remember my life, a blur.
"Do you trust me?" She asks as I stand ready to join her.

Maybe if I lived in a different way.
I wouldn't be here, not here today.
I wouldn't have fought this war in disguise.
My love wouldn't be telling me to die.

Now soon she will be mine.
No matter the restrictions of reality and time.
On the sands of a planet or amidst the coral of the sea.
She will come to be with me.

expression of impressions in sand
revisions of depressions in land
I'm clenching the rope of hopes last strand  
i'm grasping  intensely as i can
everyone has there own disguise
truth realized through pure eyes
in human blood they wash there hands
You carry your fire and brimstone inside

expression of impressions in sand
revisions of depressions in land
you see the blood on the helping hand
I am longing to find this feeling so grand
I would like to try to read your mind
darkness underneath a smile so kind
a demon behind timid mouse eyes
such reality declined you left behind

Shame on you for not loving me back
Shame on you for not staying
Shame on you for not making me stay
Shame on you for...
Shame on you
Shame on you
Shame on
*Shame on me, for hoping, believing and loving, and living.