nineteen years,
238 months,
1,034 weeks,
7,238 days,
of my life.

i can compress my existence
into numbers.
lay them out like statistics.

tell people i am made of days, hours, minutes.

numbers.
they are easy.
finite.
simple.

but will i ever be able to translate my existence in words?

will i ever be able to speak such complexities?
or only count?

Within the depths of our minds, clouds may form,
Blocking the sun, causing a mental storm.
But remember, dear soul, after every storm,
A rainbow appears, bringing colors warm.

Through the darkness and the rain,
We find strength to ease the pain.
The clouds may linger, but they will pass,
Leaving behind a rainbow at last.

So hold on tight through the cloudy days,
For the rainbow shines in mysterious ways.
Mental health is a journey, not a race,
Embrace the storms, for they will be replaced..

I hiked on the highest Mountain,
Swam the deepest Sea.
I fished in crystal Waters,
but success kept evading Me.
I felt Success, was a Race Horse,
that runs Fast and Free.
So I ran My Races with Blinkers,
but success never greeted Me.
In reality, Success is not a Race Horse.
But it's the field, on which it Raced.
Success had always, held My Hands.
I was Blind, in having it Chased.
Success is in the Journey,
I chose to climb the tallest Heights.
All this while, Success sat besides Me.
Watching Me, for Days and Nights.

Wrap this moment wider into time
Longer evenings would be sublime
To muse over all the fluff
These moments stretched long enough
To cherish and breath the cool night air
And believe I haven't got a care

Time is gone in the blink of an eye
No matter days be long, or days be short
Never enough time for you and I
Or for my mind to wander and transport

Air unempty
Life full
Another addition nearly in bay
Blessed aplenty
Glassful
The dance of Life, a riveting ballet

Ah, how quickly do
Nights age & shatter - like old glass.
How short lived, the stars

To sit here and scale our memories
looking for worth in wondering
searching for pieces in the past
I left all my paints and colorful hues
and moved forward with potfuls of rain thinking that to love is constant
and to lose is momentary pain
but all these versions of lives lived
all the people we said we were
and all the things we hope to become
stir and boil in this water
and winter tells us to stay inside
but this heart keeps racing
aching to feel the sun and the snow
to tear apart the days
and take these fractures
as testimonies of all that we braved

Down by the Murray River,
where life swims all around;
above and beneath the surface,
in this heat, everything flows.
Beers, BBQs, budgie smugglers and babes in bikinis,
memories bobbing above ground
capturing freedom, post-pandemic and pre-celebrations.

Down by the Murray River,
watching things flow safely and soundly,
birthing new possibilities:
boyfriends, babies, businesses and brews?!
Endless possibilities abound,
prophecies realised; salvation.

Down by the Murray River,
with nature, our souls sing loudly,
simplicity is possible,
trusting and enjoying,
everything is allowed.

On any given day,
so far,
I have been sui causal,
and distracted by a real
fat cat named Wreckit,
he's a ****** subspecies' archetype,
on the branch of eating things,
unique, we insist, we delight in knowing,
we eat cats next to last.

This  cat has the best life of any mammal ever.
My grandchildren worship him, and he's afraid
to come into my room, but he defiantly plays
in the hall and looks to see if I notice, and I blink.

I think a thank you for the lightening mood.

To all the mornings that go wrong
1 hope you know
I find my laughter in you
somewhere along the "why mes" and "why nows"
A beautiful summer breeze hit
And I forgot what there was to complain about