The sky is bone-white
and guilty-faced,
and some horrible cry is preparing itself
between my two lips–
I have become lamb from sheep,
   regressed again;
I cannot stop screaming,
I cannot graze the land
without knowing that I am becoming
someone I have already been.

The things that make me happy,
that used to,
all exist in some other place:
   where I came from,
where I’ll never be again,
where the creek water is always warm
and the lamb-scream
is so deep inside of me
I cannot reach it with my fist.

- Ellery Rose

I’m tired

Of trying all the time

Even when surrounded by people

I feel so  a l o n e




A body without a soul

Leave it behind to rest

Let the world carry on

Without me




I listen to the same songs

Over and over again

Because nothing else

Is loud enough to drown out the pain




Oh, to be a kid again

With no need to overthink

To see the light again

Without drowning myself in the kitchen sink




I want to leave behind

This heavy heart

And fly away to my neverland

Living my life inside a hopeless daydream




I want to be held in your arms

As you talk with that calming voice

So I drift off

And fall asleep

Why do you ignore me

Do my words mean nothing to you

I told you to stop

but you never did




if you have decided

to keep going

then go off your own way

and leave me behind




I want to scream

I want to cry

it was never my intention

to say goodbye




But even with

your intentions

that i never know

of they are good or bad




you made the choice so easy




We tried to ignore our differences

and leave the past behind

but no matter how hard we tried

we just couldn’t take it off our mind




You can say what you want

but why should i listen

when i showed you the darkest parts of me

you tore me apart

and left my heart

broken in two




I tried to be so open

but you just couldn’t accept

when i didn’t think the same thing as you

and tried to turn me

into another version of you




It doesn’t matter anymore

I guess it’s even now

you hurt me

and i hurt you

Struggling in school everyday,
Feeling like I'm behind.
Struggling with basic math,
teachers making fun of me.
Hurting deep,
Not receiving any support I need.
Why does my brain work differently?
Teachers, students bullying me,
Is it my fault?

The pain runs deep,
With no one to understand.
Why does my brain work in ways they can't see?
Am I broken? Am I stupid?

Laughter echoes when I stumble,
Words like knives, they cut me thin.
I wonder, is this my fault?

Students, teachers bullying me,
How long will it last?

Please, listen to me.
I know you’ve done it forever.
Maybe you’ve done it more than enough,
More than you should not now or ever.

Please, listen to me.
I swear to you, I will be silent.
And in my silence you’ll see my soul,
Which will be crying out of mind.

My soul’s alive.
It needs much power to go on living.
It simply wants to go ahead
Without guile, with only pure feeling.

Please, listen to me.
I know you’ll still do it forever.
But no matter what happens to any of us,
Please, listen to me whatever, whenever.

I don't want to live anymore,
It hurts so bad I can't take it anymore.
I fight to survive,
for a life I don't want.
And I whelve on memories,
that I never had.
Somewhere in some other timeline,
I can feel happy without snorting a line.

If I could only tell you
You're not alone
I would
If I could only tell you
I know
That when the world is sleeping
You silence your cries
But you still hope to be heard
I would
If I could only tell you
I hear your heart
Screaming for someone to understand
I would

If it means one less hurting person
I'd tell you
You are loved, heard, and understood.

he spreads me open and carves me from the inside out with his fingers while telling me im pretty
i tell myself he cant see that im crying
its dark in his van anyways
time moved on
but i didnt
yet another boy tells me im pretty with the lights on and tears streaming
i think im just meant to be sad
why else would this compliment feel so hand crafted
like they picked my lowest times to tell me how beautiful my pain looks
why else would i be so pretty when i cry