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my head is very
pumpkiny
and
i think
if you
put
a candle
in
between
my teeth
it might burn

but i’d
make
a great
jack-‘o-lantern

🎃
it’s always halloween in my soul
maybe i will
get to see the
sun rise
right before
my tired,
drunken eyes

sleep is
hard to
come by
even when i
need it
after a hard day
or a rough week
of constantly
changing masks
to be who
i need to be
when i’m
in certain company

i love that
i can be me
with you
no masks
no filters
just openly discussing
and drinking
and cussing
and occasional
fussing
about how badly
we want
to have a
bratty snuggle
between
two
benefited
*******
friends

i am sweet
but i’m
a ****
i love hard
with
time
and
work
and i’m
healing
from the hurt
that was
placed on me
from birth
still
trying
and dying
to know
my own worth

creativity
is both
a blessing
and
a curse
and i’m
not sure
which is worse…
being alone
or feeling
like every
move
i make
is rehearsed

i want
to know myself
i want to shake hands
and really
meet
me
for the
first time

i want to
know
you
in
the process
of
getting
acquainted
with myself
and i
want to
hold your
hand
once in
a while
as
i’m counting
stars
and
trying
to find
my smile
somewhere
within those
sparkling
lights
in the sky
i want to live
one day
without
wondering
why
i’ve been slipping
and sliding
down a dangerous
path
into a soupy,
sloppy pit
of dismissive
behaviors
and letting
part of myself
disappear

it’s so hard to explain
how this is so wrong
and so right
at the same time

it goes against
all i’ve ever thought
i needed
but these dreams
won’t leave
my mind
i’m trapped between
my heart
and
my
time

what happens
between
one eye
and the other
in my lil’
squishy
brain
is impossible
to explain

it all just
comes down
to one
simple
little
itty
bitty
thing

this stupid
little
flutter
in my heart
with
your name
etched into it

i can’t sleep
but
i don’t care

sometimes
poetry
is more
important
we’re just
two pieces
of ****
waiting for
our turn
to get flushed
down the toilet

two unhinged
weirdos
communicating
through poetry
and thoughts
that aren’t quite
complete

and maybe there
are still pieces
missing
and this picture
can’t be
fully seen
for a while

but ******
*******
or not,
****!
you make
me smile

and when i look
up at the moon
and he’s smiling
too
and it’s happening
while i’m
thinking of you

the fork in the road
makes me hungry
and i’m trying to figure
out what
i need
to satisfy this rumble
in my tummy
i can’t have
my cake
and eat it too
but i
don’t care much
for cake anyway
i’m more of a pie
kinda gal
there’s a thought,
or maybe a dream,
that’s caught in my head
and it makes me so sick
it’s like my brain
and heart
are being ****** dry
by a tick
and the little fat ****
won’t quit with the ****
he keeps trying to
**** me
and drain me of
all my blood

my fingernails are well bitten
as my thoughts are being written
i’m really ******* smitten
and i’m stuck
i’m scared
and i’m angry
and i’m running
out of luck

i feel like i’m
being pressed tightly
between two pieces of glass
and i see one world
from one side
and another
from my other eye
and i know which
one i want to explore
and know
and see
it’s just
not that simple
it’s not that easy
but i’m willing to
put in the time
and the effort
to make a dream
into our reality
It’s not about you. Unless your name is “Earitch”
Arlo Disarray Mar 11
i just want to live,

find myself,

and be loved

even if it’s just
little bits
of fleeting love
from passersby,
and then i want to die
while
i’m still loved

and before
the visitors
that
love me
realize how
****** up
i really am
i don’t want to keep ******* doing this
Arlo Disarray Mar 11
if i
believed
the devil
existed
i
would gladly
and quickly
sell him my soul
in exchange
for a day,
just one
measly *******
day…
with you
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