I fall in love a thousand times a day Never really knowing what that word even means But spouting it out to every set of eyes that meets mine Lying to myself and always trying too hard to shine
I've been broken since the start I wasn't really built quite right With a head too big for my body And a heart that bleeds out, inside Dripping down into my toes And keeping me awake, at night
I've been told the truth before About how I'm all washed up Letting my addictions control my every breath And never being quite strong enough
I never wanted to let it get this far But here I am not knowing what to do Or where to go Or what to think I don't even know when I should or shouldn't blink I'm always afraid I'll wake up only to realize that I missed one of the few important parts of my life
The odds of me taking my own life one day, that's a bet I would definitely take. It might not be for a while. It could be years and years down the road, when I'm old and grey. When the skin sags low beneath my bones, and my teeth are not even teeth anymore.
It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could be next month, next year. It could be any time.
It could happen when I have been weakened to a point of breaking at the slightest touch.
It could be because I need that sense of control, and knowing it's the only thing in my life I actually can take charge of.
It could be that I lose all sense of importance, and realize I have no more purpose here on this spinning ball of dirt.