Every time you laugh i'm caught in the edges of an abyss,
like i'm drowning in the constant birth and death of a star.
and I cant help but wonder if this is all you’ve ever been.
The flesh and bones you inhabit now.
I can't help but wonder if you watched from the edges of the earth
and saw humanity love and die and wonder what it would be like,
to  live a life where you were something other than ash in the wind.

I never dreamed of meeting someone like you.
You found me in the cold and gave me a home,
and now I
can't imagine my life without you.
You showed me the parts of the world
that no one has ever seen.
You helped me find the light
and now I
can survive these dark days because of you.

We danced with the stars
and lived off wishbones.
Swallowing stardust
and creating galaxies with our imagination.
Your love made my head spin faster than the planets.
Sweetheart, you have done so much
and now I
feel like one of the lucky ones.

Let us go fishing for stars
Let us swim with the cosmos
Lets everything

You drew an atlas on my hand
and connected the dots to the places where we plan to meet.
I love the shape of your lips
and how I can trace them so easily with mine
and now I
can finally feel comfortable when I say I love you
and mean it because I will love you until there is no till.
Until all the stars burst apart in front of us.
Until the universe stops spinning
Until the end.

In the crazy busyness of the day
where electric sounds suffuse,
even a little chat is often a freeway
of words and noise.

And in the midst, he tells me
“Just be yourself.”
There I am
in the small space of silence
being undone
with nothing to say
while I wonder
what self.

A friend tells me they’re getting a divorce.
The doctor says the tests are positive.
I watch: the surge of floods taking homes and lives
or images of smoke and debris right after a bombing.
After a real serious play or movie.
In the waiting room after I hear she is going to die.

In those lonely tiny spaces
of darkness
I cannot speak.

In those aftermath moments
I am silenced.

How do I react
to being out of control
or make these things normal
or fit them into my routine ways of being me?

Silence asserts itself
like a wild animal
I cannot tame.

At these intervals
of being powerless
I hope I do not miss the chance
to humbly bow
in silence
and embrace my humanity
and smallness
in the cosmos
where it is utterly trivial
to just be my self.

I move
through gently opening embraces
and find myself
firmly enveloped in your luscious warmth
that urges me to push on further
until we reach the moment
  out of time and space
that holds us close
forever and again
  one
in a world of brilliant galaxies
  exploding
in deep space

fragments of shadows found in between my finger tips
and your collar bone
provide safety in breathing
in tracing
reciprocating souls find a home
in exchange of glances and
colorful explosions followed by gentle,
studious hands.  
reify things only dreamt of or written about
in tales of gods and poetry of the rich man.

leave the rest of the world adust
as they fall in their intentions --
in their questions,

we write among the stars
what they could not dare to fathom
as we all look toward a single sky.

Teach me the cryptography of the cosmos so that I decipher its codes, I already know that tragedies in stars have a pattern that resonates with your name. Astronomers say, the most massive stars are the shortest lived, they never mention the loudness of their begging for a softer beginning, they don’t report agony as a cause of death.