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Jeremy Betts Mar 15
In this unholy battle,
We're acceptable collateral?
Why is this accepted?
It's not even ethical

Distract, create a spectacle
Like, oh I don't know,
A traveling circus
Call it a big tent revival

Keep your intellectual
To an abysmal level
View who believe you
To truly be the cesspool

From car to front door, time to mingle
A hive mind kicks in, single file
Resembling a slaughterhouse line
Cosplaying as unaware cattle

Only the needy need the label to be biblical
Instantly non consequential
Tell me, who's more feared,
A specific god or his devil?

Is it possible be honest though?
Any chance of pausing the show?
And collectively admit
The only truth is...we don't know



..An elevated view  of you
shows booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,

.. after booth, after booth
   Each one  partitioned  with

an impenetrable  curtain
hanging off of  a bone-frame
stainless steel  pipe structure,
Built high enough  for the
different parts  of you
to sense, but not   feel..

what part of you
is in the other booth.

   Problem is,

You want and expect
me to orbit around it all
as if each isolated part
   is,  in itself..
actually the whole you..
when I know it is  only
a  tremendously-lonely
    part of the whole.
And you take love  to be
some form of blindness
  on my part

--to the elephant in the room,
And I tell you I love you..
And I tell you,  

               "No.. I won't do it"

--And your shame  kicks in
causing you to  feel
     I'm too harsh..

        or being judgemental.

Yet all along, you are knowing--
That just a few moments  with me..
and the walls come tumbling down.
   .          .          .          .         .          .          

When the partitions  drop
(that is your terror)
(that is your horror)

You will not annihilate
into a million fragments  
   of nothingness

The you(s)..  of you
will meet one another
for the very first time
since you were first  dismembered
(fragmented, so very long ago.)
You will not  disintegrate, love..

You will  Re- integrate.

Love does that.  It does.
But you already know that.
Yet still you hide (.. from me.)

You are addicted  to the 'comfort'
the partitions's isolation brings.
Your relationship is not with
the sum of the parts  as a whole..
but with the internal  "construct"  within you--
  the chasm..  the gap..  

--the empty space between those parts;
as it uninstalls one part of the intricate you
and re-installs the next

And you have no idea   how to
the many different parts  of you
   like a conductor would do
   with his orchestra..   therefore,

You can only be in relationship
with one part of yourself at a time--
..Each partitioned  'self'
has an e-mail address
Each one  has
a separate account  of its own..
Each one,  within itself..   convinced
that it carries within itself
its own, separate genetic imprint

Each one,  you can  milk  
within its incompleteness
     as if it in itself,   is complete--
    .. Flaunting it, flaunting it;  
    as though it is the complete you
  while all other necessary  parts of the whole
  remain dangerously dormant..
   --being Unholy-ghosted  by

    whatever currently-visible part of you
    now  has control of the ship.

--And throughout the years
I am expected to weather the storm
and gather  pieces,  from pieces..
and then magically (oh.. I can..)
piece them all together as I speak to you
without you having to even  feel
the tension (absurdity)  of the
mis-placed  accountability
   (and responsibility)
    to enter into love
    as a Whole (the sum of many parts)

And so here I am..  orbiting    
    orbiting  orbiting--
around your ever-changing  mood swings;
        the   "Paul-is-good,"  one day
        and  "Paul-is-bad,"  the next,
       (those ever-changing perspectives,
       gaslighting.. gaslighting.. gaslighting)

   --in order that you might  remain   'the same'
   based on whatever current-visible  part of you
   is currently at the helm..

       The current pilot of the ship
       wholly unaware of the leadership styles,
       opinions and views of that  of the last.  
Harsh sounding.. I know..
(but you know..)

And so, here's the rub--

You are feeling your days
to be numbered..
You have been around me
too long, love.
(that is your fault)   You knew.

I wrote that  such a long time ago

We are getting closer to Home, love.
I wrote this strange little ditty
before I wrote that other one..

What you have feared  most
has now given way
to the sound of inevitability

   (You should have ran
             ..but you didn't.)

..The sound of inevitability
 isn't really a sound at all..

..It is the  sound of you  still
  standing there.

Its on.

..And so it begins

I can see now that this could be aptly construed
as a love-note to my mother
Welcome to my world  as a little boy.

I am no longer that little boy.. sweet beautiful, fragmented Angel.
Subjectivity and gaslighting  either breaks us

   or  over time, and with help  from the outside
          ..makes us strong AF.

God bless (curse) the child who can finally see.
dark blue Jul 2021
my **** is hard
inside you
as you straddle
and ride me

i need more
to go over
the edge

slap my face
i want to feel
your anger

call me names
mean it
when you call me
dark blue Jul 2021
*** for me
baby girl

with pleasure

your nails

my chest

make it

your love

for me
in blood
dark blue Jul 2021
bit my lips
my flesh
my fresh blood

choke me
like you mean it
to and pass the point
where i panic
claw and scratch
cry to exists
dark blue Jul 2021
eyes so bright
you’d be
a great mother
wife and lover

you’re the type
of woman
a man cherishes
steps up
provides protects
builds a family

will you marry me
have children
live happily
to the end of eternity
with me
dark blue Jul 2021
i'm done
role playing

hold me
in your arms

i want to be
the little spoon
dark blue Jul 2021
come here
baby girl
get into bed
with daddy
take off
your nighty
lay on top of me
i need to feel you
skin to skin
against me
lay your head
upon my chest
feel the up and down
of your breath
hear your heartbeat
your sighs in my ear
dark blue May 2021
dance for me
slave girl
move your body
swing your arms
****** me
with your hips
tease me
turn me on
make my ****
dark blue Jul 2021
bring me wine
and food
quench my thirst
my hunger

dance for me
slow sensuously
arouse me
with your body

lie with me
my needs
my fantasies
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