My textbooks, propped between our knees,
I study how this became
our hot dates and the way I get to lean
on your chest makes me tingly,
shallow-breathed,
but I shift around
so you don’t feel my heart bumping in
between the stillness
of our bodies.

—stillness—

We lay in the same bed and actually sleep;
no squeezing fingers and searching
mouths, but at least our clothes stay on
and I don’t have to search for my nightgown
shoved under wrinkled
sheets, or worry
about ****** wrappers
stuck to my skin.

Finished with our club meetings
and fundraisers, we act like weekend
warriors, clinking bottles in half-lit
rooms, sliding around, laughing
in each other’s faces
and once we’ve smoked our stress
away, I place your hand
under the ruffles of my skirt and kiss
your neck, whispering
                                 I want you
Please touch me
                  I need you
but you put your lips
to my forehead, mumbling
that you’re tired and won’t keep it up
because you’re strung out
on Red Bull and Adderall, promising
we will tomorrow night.

Attempts to look ahead bring nothing but
       indecision.
Glances back into the past hurt with their
       nostalgia,
tinted by the loneliness and confusion of
       now.

So I walk around with my head down,
trying to find the path that will get me
to contentment the fastest.
But walking amongst rubble
isn't the easiest course
to pick your way through.
Head lowered, eyes intent,
I stumble my way through,
tripped up so much that I begin to think
there's no trail here after all.

The winds may change each day,
And the tides may drift us farther away.
But I still believe in our red strings of fate
That they may coalesce once again.

Even though we're miles apart,
And I can't deny the pain in my heart,
I still find happiness in the small fact
That we're in the same reality,
Breathing the same air,
Walking the same earth,
And sharing the same emotions.

Worry not and wait for me, my bambino

i haven’t worn your sweatshirt

in 6 months

it’s found it’s home

tucked inside my drawer 
but
im without a home;

finding somewhere warm

and one day ill take it out

slip my arms through the holes

head out the top and
think about 
somewhere long ago

and i don’t even know

where we began

so i slip it all the way on

when im ready to begin again

On a cold steamy morning,
With your  velvet touch
You muzzle my neck.
And I share your breath
As you welcome me back.

Whilst the coppery gleam
Of your shimmering skin
Ripples under my hand,
I lean against your strength
Feeling warm and content.

Your gentle eyes
Reflect the rays
Of the Winter sun
On the golden haze.

I weave my hand,
Through your shiny mane,
And my sigh is steep,
As you whinny deep.

my skin feels like a sunset after you touch it
composed of only the color of your lips
3am phone calls and the pattern of your fingerprints
my body pressed against yours feels like an eclipse
the light flooding from behind darkness
until it's gone completely and i'm blinded
i feel like i've been given water for the first time in years after we kiss
and my hair feels like sunlight when you tangle your hands in it
im completely infatuated with your heavy breathing when we're together
but also your tiny breaths while you're asleep
i could collapse full force into your body
and not even care how many bones i broke because i'd feel at home
even when you're not around i feel your presence in my mind
and i find comfort in the eat we make brief yet playful eye contact before we go our separate ways to class
i love to squeeze your sides and see you smile at me
but i also love to kiss your neck and feel you pulling my body closer to yours
you love so effortlessly and i couldn't be more content with what we have

-m.v.

i found my muse
when i found you
i could write about
the confidence in your walk
the taste of your tongue
the softness of your smile
and everything in-between
for hours on end
i find poems
embedded in your neck
and the only way to get them out
is with my lips
i find fragmented sentences
on your back
and the only way to fix them
is by subtly tracing my fingers
along your skin
your eyes
oh god
theyre a book in themselves
and im still trying
to figure out what they say
the freckles dusting your cheeks
are very similar to single words
much in need of being
strung together
to form the loveliest sentence
ever whispered into a summer breeze
your lips
remind me much of pieces of poetry
ive never gotten to finish writing
but my lips are the pen
and your mouth is my paper
so i wouldnt mind seeing the final product
not even the worlds best poets
could come together
and write something
the capture the beauty of your existence
my words
are merely an understatement

-m.v.

I tried rationality,
It mad me feel bare.
I tried pure emotion,
And filled with despair.

I want to allow,
Me to be me.
Not something that
The world wants to see.

Nothing so great,
Absolutely no hero,
Not either to think,
Of myself as a zero.

A whole life I want,
And pray that I find.
A life long ambition,
A truly wise mind.

I work towards this goal,
And try not to stray,
I feel that it's closer,
Every last day.

Finally finding,
This journey I chose,
Brings more contentment,
As each day does close.

As I write this from up above a couple hundred feet,
Overlooking this beautiful and bustling city
-- which I had only known lesser than twenty-four hours --
I cannot help but heave out a sigh of contentment.

***** even though we're hundreds of miles away from home,
This city has not ceased its glaring warmth.
Maybe it's the environment, maybe it's the people
Maybe it comes down to being just blessed.

I fall, I rise,
I make mistakes,
I live,
I've been hurt,
but ..
I'm alive ..
i'm only Human,
I'm not perfect,
but I'm thankful