Four seasons,
but
only winter he loved,
When
he let the coldness
caged in his heart
set free,
disguised as
the cold December winds.

Compare me to a winter's day
My insides are icicles
Threatening to drop, to shatter at the slightest disturbance
My demons are hibernating, hungry and wrapped in fur
Anticipating the first sight of spring
                     Fullness
My heart is bleak
                     Barren
A cracked stone wall runs along its edges
Flowers could bloom there, but not in this coldness
Not in this absence
My blood is screaming as it ravages inside of this empty shell
"I just want to die. I just want to die. I just want to die." it howls
Where is my spring?
Where is my solace?

Hazel eyes decorated by light lashes,
Your soul burrowed within,
I glance at passive eyes,
Afraid of what I cannot find,
I brush your lashes with *******,
So I may see you,
I brush your eyes with quivering lips,
So I may kiss your soul,
But you remain distant.

I want to reach you,
To see your soul for its entirety,
But I cannot excite your stoic eyes,
So I decide to remove my gaze,
From your hazel irises.

12/37/14



Our love flourished in the winter
In a place where it never really got cold
Your eyes were always icicles
And your smell like winter wind

You come off as cold
But maybe as winter progresses toward spring
And life reveals itself from under its snow blanket
You heart too will awaken

No matter
How many
Blankets I cover myself with
I still

Feel Cold.

I love
      the safeness
                        and the coldness
                                               of your smile

You sit beside me on the train,
Your hand reaches for mine as I feel your soft touch against my pale rough skin,
I look into your mesmerizing eyes and tell you that you are beautiful,
You chuckle as your cheeks glow bright pink,
People stare at me,
But no one seems to notice you,

I hold your hand as we stroll through the park,
Your innocent smile sending me into a daze of emotions,
Lighting a fire in my heart that burns full of passion and love,
The warm touch of your skin against mine,
And yet,
I still feel the cool summer's breeze blowing against my fingers,

After dinner we wander aimlessly enjoying each others presence,
Joke after joke,
Laugh after laugh,
We soon find ourselves at the front of my door,
I love you I say as I move closer towards you,
Your tender lips touch mine,
But I don't feel anything,

I wake up to you gazing into my eyes,
Your silky brown hair flowing elegantly with the calm breeze,
I look deep into your eyes,
Entrapped in a everlasting trance,
A tear rolls down my cheek,
The alarm clock buzzes,
The tune ringing in my ears until finally snapping me out of it,

After getting dressed into my black suit,
I slowly trudge towards the door,
The sunlight shines onto my skin,
But not warming it,
Only making it colder,
I enter the car to find a picture of you and I at our wedding,

As I start up the car engine,
Tears uncontrollably escape my eyes,
I reverse the car out of the driveway,

With my soul filled with darkness,
My heart full of sadness,
My body aching of pain,

I drive off to

**Your Funeral

Where did we split off?
Was it the train?
Was I running after your solemn face staring at me through a windowpane?
Did we part ways in an enchanted forest?
Or perhaps it was in the depths of my cold room
Nestling under the covers
Begging warmth from each other?
I’m not sure, but in these moments of longing, I always remember you.
You’re still with me.