This heart of mine is
a wanderer nomad and
now it is on the

loose. It became wroth
and restless for the mind is
bowed down; the shameful

armistice is now
signed. Because it is still
aware that if it

gave upon on you,
if it ceased to love, it would
cease to beat eternally.

Under the sour light
of the summer moon, when the
asphalt maze exhales

heatness we come and
ensemble at Teufelsberg
just to pile up the

broken and rusty
pieces of our outcasted
heart, hoping that if

we exchange them like
puzzles of the autumn we
will able to build new ones.

It felt better when
I believed: that the cat in
the box still had the

chance. And now the box
is open and I hate to
be aware of the

scientific fact
that the cat is no more; she
did not manage to

survive the cruel
experiment. I hated
for I learned: she was Love.

Your genesis I
need: the very first words of
the story of me,

I yearn for you to
put me down into words and
say: "Shall we begin?"

Beneath the deep lakes
of your soul, there's no need to
swim for I cannot

drown. It's a holy
water, a sacred one and
long ago before

this world could have you,
before you were born into
this fragile body

of yours by washing
all over me you turned the
bitter tears of mine

into your sweetness
of joy like Okeanos. From
you, I could never

gulp down enough for
I forget to remember
but remember to

forget at the same
time, because one side of yours
is Lethe and the

another one is
Mnemosyn, thus to here and
now I can always belong.

These strides of mine are
so heavy as I am
going down on these

stairs taking one step
after another for I
am aware that

they are about to
give birth to a starving-dark
void between the two of us.

Today a little
pale-veil vein was discovered
under your skin right
there, below your right
eye. I am aware that
it was a tough day
and you're so exhausted
too, but I just marveled it,
because I've never
seen it before; it
never revealed itself to
me, yet somehow, in
a strange way it made
me happy for I had no
doubt that you are real.

Losing the right to
occupy space I became
unanchored to this

flesh prison of mine.
Even my words lost in the
wind, but not to you.

Silencing the sound
of voices here, in my head
and beyond let me

exist in your state
of stillness. And let me count
the remaining time

of mine only by
the warmful beating of your
trusted, word clock-heart.

Love is like the dark
matter: it holds together
the universe, yet

mine was broken and
fallen into myriad
of subatomic

particles like the
ashen, shattered pieces of
a fractured mirror.

I am aware,
my love, that I need to go
on the journey of

mine, without  you. But
tell me, where to start; where to
take the very first

step into a new
life when I am even
incapable of

moving..? Even the
stars faded tonight, the moon
was blinded, the sky

is gone out choking
the love-red sun. Tell me who
am I suppose

to make it on my
own without your dark lightning;
without your black silken light.

Out the window there,
Beneath the glassy, blue sky,
The white sun bleaches
Everything beneath its rays.
I wither inside.
I die if I venture out.
And yet, my heart yearns,
My soul burns, to see the world.
Mountains, rivers, seas;
Indeed, just to see a tree
I would leave it all.
I would risk the burning sun,
Drop it all and run,
If forests were there for me.
I would endure it,
Knowing that cool springs waited.
My heart climbs mountains
As I answer phone calls here;
My mind explores caves
As I file cash receipts.
I watch mountain lakes
Turn gold with the dying sun
As I read emails.
But some day, I will reach out
And instead of desk,
I will grab my mountain gear;
Some day, my fingers
Will callous and toughen up:
Instead of keyboard,
I'll skip rocks across a creek.
I will do it all,
See all I've wanted to see,
And feel the cool breeze
After climbing the mountains
And fording rivers.
I'll get out of this desk chair
And go explore what's out there.