He was danger from the very start,
The kind which came with many warnings.

I was cautious at once, Yes i was,
But soon I let my guard down,
I was left with a mind full of ideas,
He despised the ones he planted.

I loved, I fell, I fell in front of him,
He could not even hold me up.
Too busy with the others to give a ****,
I was dying right there and he didn’t care.

Guess love was a poison,
I drank up too fast,
Choked on my own tears,
I am broke, I won’t last.

Still hoping you could save me,
Hoping you could love me.

I am tired
Of seeing your name wherever I look
You already carved it into my soul
Scarred by the weight of a few letters
So please, just stop

I am cold
Each time I see you
Pretending my heart isn't pounding
Blood replaced by a paralyzing poison
Drowning me in an ice bath
Please stop

I am scared
Loud noises and raised voices
Hands wrapped around my neck
Gasping for air
Nightmares
Stop

You scare me.
Appearing in my life when I ended it.
Reaching out for my warmth when
You asphyxiated the fire.
I need oxygen.
Not you.
Please.

Swallows get caught in your throat
trying to escape the cat.
Feathers are ticklish,
the cat's grip is vicious,
is this how we've come to say that
the cat got your tongue,
the cat got your tongue,
because you thought
you could swallow winged lies.
The hunter inside
always finds its pride
in the throat where the swallow choked.

Ripping hands from around my throat
prying greasy thick fingers out from
my mouth

screaming inside
grasping the tired air for a chance to speak
to breathe
to take up space in this room I pay to learn in.

men standing their ground
men taking my ground
men raising their voices
men shouting above my words and trying to prove me,
prove this theory, prove this gay professor
wrong
not just here
but
around every corner, behind me in every parking lot, too close in every line, every bus seat, every elevator ride

breathing down my back
always there to contradict, take back, rephrase
laugh
laugh louder,
humiliate then divide and conquer

sitting in the front to hear the words first or
sitting in the back like a king at his throne
superimpose these whacked out standards for my clothes,
my *****, my tattoos, my smiles
my frowns

bench pressing their superfluous beliefs that they’re under attack
when I flip them off, when I lead them on, when I run away, when I talk back

hard headed and white knuckled
clutching to their masculinity,
just like my throat

These dragging power lines shackle her
Shock until numb, and heart stops
After beating too fast and shattering into
Oblivion (that is, the rest of her perception)

The percolating *** holes *** shots about her
*** and shots and shots and cigs
Crimson twigs rooted under business standards
Loathes the world's beauty standards
... *******

These dragging snakes constrict her vision
Of a better place, of a better time
Stronger the vignette view, the stronger the
Struggle,                         to
Separate tar from her feet these streets bought her
Clipped her wings
Told her to grow up and forget to fly
(Though flying is her worst nightmare)
So she assembles wax imitations
And plans to amputate

I'd tell her to stop
But she'll say there's prosthetics
And I'd rather see her tango in the wind
Fall to her death
Then go cold with the arms of a mini golf champ

Doesn't it hurt to cut your own strings?
To keep yourself distant?
Isolated?
Detached?

Feelings of vague and cloud and grey
Veil your thoughts
Inner workings

What a shame
I bet your raw emotions are glorious
Radiant
Breathtaking

I wish I could see your
Feelings of bright and sun and gold

I sit here broke
Because my angel has choked
On its halo.