You can't see me,
You can't hear me,
It's a shell of a happier person I used to be.

I am trapped in my own mind,
The walls are crumbling,
But I'm still chained,
The chains are weak,
But I'm still stuck,
because I am afraid.

The walls are collapsing,
The roof is caving in,
Under the crushing weight of anxiety and depression.
I am afraid I am going to be crushed,
But I won't leave,
I am even more afraid of the outside

I don't want to be seen or heard.
I don't want to trap you with me.
I am dying,
You don't know,
I am dying.
But you are happy.

So I can be
fine.

I thought it was nothing when we first met
I knew it was just ***
The first time,I Felt like it’s going to be easy
We agreed it was going to be a fling
Weeks later,I couldn’t recognise myself anymore
I wasn’t the same anymore
I felt more emotions, cried alot
It started to get to me,so much that it took control over me
It controlled how I feel,how I act,how I feed
It had me wrapped  up and squeezed in its little palms.
I tried to escape from it,but I kept crawling back
I couldn’t talk to anyone,so I Googled
You don’t want to know the keywords for the search..
But every result gave me a falling in love narrative,
I didn’t want to fall in love, I just wanted ***
I didn’t want to be attached,I just wanted the attention
I didn’t want a relationship,I just just wanted company
I didn’t want commitment,I just just just needed a one time every time
“How did I get here” I asked myself everytime I was in the shower
Or when the thought of you popped  up
I’d fallen madly for you
Deep down, I knew it was  billshit
Deep down,I knew if I told you,you would laugh so hard
So I wallow in my pain,trying to pull out,
I hope i take it down sooner before it takes me down!

We tried so hard to escape.
I guess my heart got caught on the barbed wire.
I sat on the fence and watched you leave, watched you leave me behind.
My fingers locked in the chain link, my body paralyzed by the spotlights.
I’ll always be locked up in you.

though I yam Caucasian,
   tis rightful to honor that most bitter
racist genocidal crime
   nonetheless ovation qua

   quintessential significant contribution
   vis a vis that doth litter
   many anonymous multitudinous peoples
   many unknown dark skinned souls

   bravely fought as non quitter
with melanin so **** sitter  
   this asthma feeble attempt
   made to mind of literate
   parent, guardian or sitter
adorn aye rhythmically twitter
    
   to **** Sapiens with Negroid color
   who, despite being human *******
   managed to adorn
   worthy contributions to society,

though an American (though not so proud)
   and civilization since time immemorial
   hence, I wanna pay poetic homage to persons born
akin to diversity exemplifying gamut

   analogous to Indian corn
   debased brutally and forlorn
   and raised in cornucopia horn
of plenty with rare serf tenderness

whipped by wicked task masters
   from the crack of morn,
   aye cannot fathom why
   a great proportion of humanity

must struggle on scraps of subsistence
viz with fifty plus shades of chocolate
   vile shamefully opprobrious sworn
   vengeance toward those

via heroic efforts escaped,
   manacled, tortured, et cetera history
   as slaves an existence
until...pacified family dislocated
   sans rent asunder, ripped and torn.

Once a proud family akin to Brady
bunch, now brutally, nasty
   and short lived poorly destitute
   (case in point) like Haiti -

once a nation extant with cultural finery
   insidiously ***** "Lady"
lacerated odiously robbing
   unique peoples as owners didst slay

   practically naked "Primates"
   encaged like wild animals in zoos
   culturally robbed while
   abhorrently marched in ones and twos

   shredded souls without shoes
   (analogous to persecuted Jews)
   of singular ambition to break shackles
   though tightly fused
to life as they chose.

this just one example of many peoples
   UNFAIRLY subjected
to subservience and exempt
   from enjoying the fruits of their labor.

January twelfth two thousand and ten
(original date this communique writ then
kept wedged where in no wise bore visual witness
   vis a vis near annihilation and destruction
   of African, Haitian, South American, et cetera nations
whereby countless/ nameless individuals

   e’en the strongest Herculean type men
   crushed by humungous slabs of
   building facades practically
   demolishing every creation

since this island settled, which
   indigenous tribes sought safety
   in any geologic den
   seeking solace and salvation

   from wrath of nature
   by paying obeisance via oblation
perhaps giving credence to clear water
   in tandem with rooster and hen

   that laid a golden egg, especially
   as encroaching savages affected violation
particularly when Europeans
   foisted forfeiture of land

   with primitive implement like pen
   no matter that travesty, trickery, mockery,
   et cetera wrought humiliation
pleading invaders to forsake

   such actions that rent asunder
   culture beseeched god when
   these brutish, nasty and (shortish) simians
   to cease desecration

yet the peoples of this dominion rose
   from the ashes like the phoenix like bird
   no mattered genetic pool underwent
   white washing from scouring influx

from western thumping proselytizers,
   which alien beliefs hard to swallow like curd
   basically bribery (with lustrous trinkets)
   ah those coveted legal tender

upon emancipation proclamation cessation
   to sell men, women and for x amount of bucks
akin to the soundcloud winged fowl clucks
foisted/ forced the unpleasant alternative

   (wanton slaughter) to be clearly heard
   yet within the very fiber of tropical
   man grove persons patiently
   lined up their ducks

and declared as one of the first
   african american peoples
   INDEPENDENCE to be the word
   whence adulation, elation, inspiration
echoing across ramshackle greensward.