You left a void,
I did not know how to fill
Freedom isn't supposed to taste this bitter
A black cloud hangs over my head
Spanning an entire continent
My suffering was too much for them…
And it’s too much for me
It grew hard to tell
what was a skeleton to be buried
and a treasure to be revealed
digging through my past
is a weight that became to heavy for me to carry
So I was forced to shed
my own substance
to make room
How could you commit ******,
but it be called two different things?
There was no difference in our actions,
only the side of the battlefield we were standing on.
I knew the truth though, I always have.
I was just like them, a cold-blooded killer.
The only difference was the uniform I wore and the man I pledged allegiance to.
Inspired by a book I read
I lost my life a long time ago
because lord knows this isn’t living
I gave it away to the hole in my brain
to the other me
the one who is controlled by irrational thoughts and behaviours
And in all honesty I can’t say I miss it
I have grown so used to it
this state of emptiness
So much so that I cannot tell if I crave more
The blame always did fall on my shoulders no matter the crime.
It wasn’t fair but it was my reality,
even in this place I was supposed to call home.
Just because you couldn’t see the scars doesn’t mean they weren’t there