I walked out in the rain

Unlocked my car

A yellow 76’ Mercedes Benz

Opened the door and just sat

The smell of dust and leather mixed

I put my key in

Heated up the diesel and started it

I got out of my driveway
And just drove

With one hand on the wheel
The other on the shift

I really didn’t care
Where I went

The rain hit my windshield
And tears hit my cheeks

I couldn’t stop crying
I couldn’t stop

I didn’t have a reason to cry

So why am I?



I pulled over
And sobbed into the steering wheel
For no reason

For no reason..

I start my car
Windows go down
The cold wind comes in
I turn off
Radio on
Play your songs
I hear how you play
I see in my thoughts
How you push
The keys on the piano
I feel like you are sitting next to me
And smile at me
But every time I realize that
You are not next to me
Miss you more and more.

I sit up in bed. The memories of silent nights together in my car possess me and throw me into painful longing. I’m taken back to the long school months where we spent the miserable cold nights together. only the stars watched us, only the radio listened in. We were fearless high schoolers with nothing to lose, but now in unbearable agony my throat burns before I sob, looking at the same stars we kissed under,  thinking about it like it wasn’t just last month...

sending you the wind in my hair, and highways
lit up so bright at night that you feel like a movie
star, and you gotta wear your cheap shades
at midnight just to get through Circus Ville

machine dreams, big rigs, perfect coffee hot
& fresh, god bless truck stops,
buy a fluffy key chain,
three pounds beef jerky, ride all night
out into the  hand-painted desert
where you know you don't belong

when the rocks turn into freighters & sail over you
like pirate schooners in the coming dawn,
& the price of your awe is more than you can afford
so you laugh, step ******* the gas, turn it up

dylan rasps out some ****** tempest tunes
all you can think of is how pure this air
he's singing about scarlet town, where you
were born, and you try to understand, but
feel it instead

because there is where you were born
listening for twining leaf & thorn
casting out for clues, in the blue vastness
of his voice in your husband's old bmw

racing through towns to nowhere
listening, breathing, playing a few rounds
of some game inside your hollow point head
before the sun comes back to the huge cacti

eats your eyes, swallows this plain

we love the feel of highway beneath us
wind everywhere, touching us in places
we need to feel something

all-american something about the car
indulgent as some old rock song
I still love, like my sharona, I am

helpless
hopeful
driving

no resist in me for you,
pulls me in every time
road and wind and that
beat

let's g-go, speeding
my lovely engine,
my sweet machine
stutter it to me
car shaking

shudders
my *****

336 miles to go
tonight

time to
ride



~a~

I get a hard-on whenever I see a hot car
I wanna pump it…yes…I just wanna floor the gas
Blinkers in my rear view when I flash by
Them no fit catch me, not even my tail lights

I like tuners but I really dig exotics
Classy, flashy plus it gets me hot chicks
See the look in her eyes when I do car tricks
Zoom zoom zoom …screeeeech…next please

It’s not about fitting it all into the car;
it’s about fitting the pieces together
against the agrestic trunk space.
It’s the way we hungrily wait
to spit up our influence It’s
the patient extraction of
a cat cornered conver
sation that is easier
to  shove  under
the innate rug
that is this
chaotic
l i f e

I need a car
Maybe it’s so I can run myself over with it
Maybe it’s because I need a beat up machine
That’s in as bad of shape as me
So that i know if i care about it
Maybe one of these days someone will care about me
Maybe I want a car because it’s less poetic and
I’m just tired of catching the bus

Kinda wanna get a car to run you over
Kinda wanna run myself over
Racing towards my future and new responsibilities
But flooring it to escape just that

Open road baby, in the smallest space I could possibly choose
Maybe that’s the whole point
I get to choose which way to turn
To follow maps or to get lost in ******* nowhere
I can take care of myself and replenish when we’re both running on empty
My fingers are itching to wrap around something
And This is the most legal option
I can stare at the road and not the empty passenger seat
I need a car to personify myself
Because I don’t feel human anymore