I knew I was going to fall in love with him
When I heard his voice on the other side of the phone
I knew I was going to fall in love with him before it was even real between us
And we were tight
Everyday we talked
And everyday we shared
And I realized
That I had fallen in fast
And way too deep
I lost it a few times
But brought myself back on my feet
And he’s knocked me down so many times
Yet
Still I rise
And it hurt
But I kept going
Until he said “I cherish you as a friend”
And that’s when I realized
That I swam down to the bottom
And wasn’t sure if I’d make it back up
I’d lost myself in him
And couldn’t find the exit
And all I could was grip
And clutch onto something
That no longer wanted me
I was being held captive by his voice
And by my broken heart
Who just couldn’t let go
I’ll always have love for him
But I know that it won’t ever be
Even all of those times when he said “just wait for me”
I can’t wait any longer
I have a life to live
But I know one day we’ll speak again
And we’ll do these things
All over again

i am a flower.

i will grow in the sunlight
and bloom under the moon.

i will be plucked by fingers
too greedy to nourish me after.

but i am a flower
and i refuse to wilt in your vase.

Staying there

I was

Time's captive

abandoned in

Change's shore.

Trapped like a bird in this filthy cage where I am starved of compassion and understanding, left to survive on meager crumbs of affection and tolerance.

Held captive and unable to fly and be free from the physical and emotional restrictions placed upon me by my keeper, who’s only reason for my presence it seems, is to stay its loneliness and insecurity and to feed its selfish need for control through its twisted concept of love and adoration.

I am looked upon as a possession other than the living, breathing individual that I long to be. So now I sit upon my proverbial perch in my so called gilded cage, in the confines of my seemingly mundane existence and walk though my mind confused and alone.
Aimlessly wandering through the now empty spaces that no longer hold the dreams or aspirations which I once thought gave my life purpose.

Memories which were bright and alive, full of promise and hope but have faded away into a past that is now gray and bleak, devoid of anything worth remembering.
My footfalls echo in the silence giving testament that these memories have been empty and forgotten long ago.

My only hopes now are that my keeper will grow tired of my deliberate silence and obvious disdain and release me, whether through life or by death, at this point either would be welcome.

How I long for the freedom and comfort of the clear blue sky, the ability to soar like a bird high above the reaches of those who only want to keep me, and fly towards the bright and colorful horizon where I know my future awaits and new memories and dreams can be made.

Fresh wounds
Begin to fester
Tearing inward
Scars  deepen
Transported from flesh
To the soul of a victim,

Specific pain
Catered to the controller
An intimate bond of blood to emotion
Crimson Consumption
Pristine Flagellation
Perfect Punishment

With each step
My youth deteriorates
Enticing me deeper into the void
To which I am held captive

l.v.s and z.w.b

A portrait of you I found somewhere,
Your eyes had an abstracted glare.
Why do I keep this?
Maybe to reminisce.
A time I caved into your snare.